Day 8 - Office Crashers: When I Asked for Help, I Got Much More Than I Ever Anticipated

My junior year at FDU took my college experience from good to great because of the new involvement I had on campus and new outlook on myself. The momentum kept strong going into my senior year. I had just completed a three month marketing internship at Ciao Bella Gelato (If you ever come across this, try it), landed a fall internship at a PR company, and was looking for ways to avoid senioritis. Quickly, things like my commitment to the golf team, unnecessary classes, and weak-tied relationships moved to the bottom of my priorities.

I introduced you to my friend Russ Bloodgood in yesterday's Day 7 post because of his influence in my senior year. However, his experience on his Habitat for Humanity trip didn’t hit me until around November 2005. At the time, I was the outgoing president of the Marketing Club, held a decent PR internship, and was involved in FDU’s programming committee. I felt that there was still something else out there that I wanted to accomplish.

Enter Michelle (Luff) Brisson. Michelle started working at FDU in August of 2005 as the new Assistant Director of Student Life, and took over for Ray and Nat’s vacant positions. She attended Millersville University for her undergrad and had just graduated from University of Vermont with a masters in Students Affairs. She was the new kid on the block and all of us involved on campus we’re excited for her new energy.

Several of my friends, including Courtney, warmed right up to her and quickly established a student-mentor relationship. It wasn’t until that November, when I went into Michelle’s office and told her about Russ’ Habitat for Humanity experience that we connected. Michelle’s response was nothing short of amazing.

Just like a great Student Affairs professional should be, she was thrilled about the idea.

She matched my enthusiasm and vision to bring it to FDU.

She also said things like “How can I help?” and “What do we need to do to make this work?”

From that initial meeting on, I knew I had at least one person in my corner to make a Habitat for Humanity trip launch. Every Friday until winter break, I spent 8-hour days in Michelle office (Michelle, thanks for letting me crash your office) researching sites, filling out applications, developing guidelines, creating participant applications, designing a marketing plan, building a fundraising strategy, etc. Over winter break, this is all I could think about. We returned in January and Michelle and I started right back up.

We spent countless Fridays interviewing the 30 students who applied for the first trip. Michelle successfully got buy in from our Provost with a $1,000 donation from his budget towards the trip. Once we had our team in place, we met almost every Tuesday evening until our trip. Michelle even helped us find a full-time professional staff member to chaperone the trip - Marc Cocchiola (A tremendous help and addition to the trip). When it was all said and done, we had secured a volunteer spot in Opelika, AL (right outside Auburn, AL), raised upwards of $7,000 in 6 weeks to fund the trip, and won the approval of several administrators to send a group of 15 students to Alabama for spring break.

Michelle’s work wasn’t done. Even though she couldn’t attend the trip, due to a conference she was attending, she helped us execute a banquet to thank our sponsors and bring together the 15 students and their closest friends and family. When it was all said and done, just like my friend Russ, Michelle had impacted and changed the lives of 15 college students. She helped us finish a house in Alabama for a lady named Ms. Penny the week we were there. She even influenced this group enough that it carried on two more years even after I graduated and she had taken another job.

Needless to say, Michelle has been a true friend and mentor to Courtney and I. She is the reason we both went into student affairs and want to inspire young adults. As I was trying to break into student affairs, Michelle was there to help me find my first job. She was there as a reference when I applied to work at Rutgers.

Michelle, her hard-working husband Ben, and their adorable three year old daughter Penny are still there for us today. They helped us paint our house the first weekend we moved in. They were there for us the day we had to put down our first dog Abby. They even let us borrow Ol’ Red, their 1994 red Ford-150 when we need to move things my CRV can’t fit.

How They Inspired Me:

When a student presents a new idea to me, I remember the enthusiasm that Michelle had with me. I make sure to give that kind of enthusiasm to every student that comes into my office.

What They Taught Me:

Michelle taught me to have patience and embrace every single moment a student crashes your office whether it be for 5 minutes or 8 hours. When they do that it means they like being around and look up to you - cherish it because you’re making a difference.

#NicheTip:

Ask for help. Finding your niche and following your dreams will often present you with a heavy workload. Chances are there is someone out there that would not only help you, but they would be thrilled to do so. In return, you may just find an incredible mentor and friend.

Day 7 - The Ripple Effect: A Friend’s Journey Impacted Hundreds of Lives

On my day 1 post about Appreciating Your Parents, I mentioned that I am an only child. Several times growing up I was fortunate to have my cousins (Denise, Stacy, Kim, Jenny, Ricky, and Jason) treat me like their little brother. In turn, I looked to all of them like my older brothers and sisters. I even had Ricky and Jason in my wedding party, and Courtney and I turn to my cousin Jen for life advice all the time. It’s been great having my cousins around, but as we get older it is tough to stay in touch and see each other frequently.

That’s where one of my best friends, Russ Bloodgood, enters my “How I Found My Niche” series.

I look up to Russ like a brother. We have the same taste in beer and food, love golf, and we both have very big ambitions for our lives.[wc_row][wc_column size="one-half" position="first"]

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Just like my friend John, I met Russ through sports and we became great friends in high school playing on the golf team. We traveled to Wales together our senior year, have held the same group of friends since high school, and both hold masters degrees. We have something else in common as well and it’s very unique. See, Russ is always helping others, has very strong ties to his family, and is a very hard worker.

Throughout college - Russ at Villanova, myself at FDU - we would visit each other almost once a month and get our group of friends together every break. However, our junior year, Russ said he wouldn’t be home because he was going on a trip. This wasn’t just any trip - he was dedicating his break from school to travel to Las Vegas, New Mexico to volunteer with 14 other Nova students as part of Habitat for Humanity (yes, there’s a city named Las Vegas in New Mexico) .

When Russ returned, I could see he had grown, just like I did after my summer as an orientation leader.  He told me about the new group of friends he made, the big picture perspective he now had on life, and the difference he made in the community. I was hooked and had to learn more.

Returning to school that Fall semester I immediately asked around to see if there was a trip like this that existed or if a Habitat for Humanity club was established. At the time, I turned to Sarah Azavedo and Michelle Luff, FDU’s new Assistant Director of Student Life. I said to them “my buddy Russ went on this trip, he’s now leading another one and FDU needs something like this.”

It turns out, Russ has inspired and influenced me more than anyone knows (including him). He wound up going on 3 other trips and leading one as an alumni. However, Russ made a bigger impact: he inspired me to start an alternative breaks program at FDU where we went to Opelika, AL in ‘06 and Grand Rapids, MI in ‘07.

Russ indirectly changed at least 50 people’s lives.

At Centenary College, I volunteered to help out with their Hurricane Katrina Relief trips to NOLA in ‘07 and ‘08. I contributed a lot of what Russ shared with me on those trips.

Russ indirectly changed at least 250 people lives.

At Rutgers, I served as Habitat for Humanity’s staff advisor for a year and half and again shared several pieces of advice and knowledge that Russ passed down to me. This helped more than ever because they run four trips a year. In addition, they are also raising $100,000 to build and dedicate their own house to a family in Plainfield, NJ.

Again, Russ indirectly changed 50-100 Rutgers Habitat for Humanity members and is helping another family get into a house.

What they taught me:

At the time, while we were in college, it was comforting to see one of my best friends going on this journey of experiencing college “outside the classroom.” Overall, Russ has taught me to always lend a hand and help those who need it.

#NicheTip:

You never know how far your actions can travel and who they can influence.

Day 6 - They Said I Was a Leader...Here's What Happened Next

I am a big believer in exposing college students to real-world experience. Throughout my college courses I was lucky enough to have two amazing professors that followed this belief: Ann Huser and Hart Singh.

I met Ann Huser my fall semester sophomore year when I enrolled in the “Principles of Marketing” class. This class opened my eyes to marketing and helped me decide to declare my major. Professor Huser worked for several large companies including General Foods (now Kraft Foods). Every class she would explain how what we were learning in our textbooks related to real-world experience.

The senior seminar class I took with her was one of the top 2 courses I enrolled in. We worked with Ciao Bella Gelato (with whom I also interned) to come up with a retail brand extension and campaign. When we had it all planned out, we then presented it to their Director of Marketing and Director of Sales. We learned about Ciao Bella’s competitors by visiting high end stores like Whole Foods, analyzed current market share data, and she taught us how to create a report the same way she created reports for Jell-o.

Professor Huser wasn’t just a teacher though. She became our advisor as the five of us (Mike, Sarah, Krystal, Kathryn and I) started the Marketing Mix - FDU’s first ever marketing club. We planned monthly speaking and networking events, recruited members, and wrote our own constitution. During my sophomore year, I was comfortable being a founding member and doing what was asked of me.

However, after my conversation with Ray, Nat and Sarah about my leadership potential, I had a whole new outlook on this club and my ability. Since our club was just established a little over a year earlier, several of our e-board members concluded that our current President would remain President and we would not hold elections. As an e-board member with a whole new outlook on how we could make this club even better, I couldn’t let this happen.

Instead of sending a very frustrated email to Professor Huser at 12am, I slept on it and emailed her that morning asking her to call me. That decision alone, impacted the next 6 months of my life. I discussed with her over the phone the ideas I had for the club, my leadership ability to get us there, and how we need to give other members (including myself) a chance to run for President. To this day, I know that if I emailed her rather than calmly and professionally talked to her on the phone I wouldn’t have had the same outcome. Long story, short, she agreed, organized a proper election for all e-board positions and I started my “campaigning.” Needless to say, I gave one of the best speeches of my life and became the first officially elected President for the Marketing Mix.

The second step towards student leadership was taken.

My other professor, Hart Singh, taught in the Entrepreneurship program. He was a successful entrepreneur himself creating innovative software solutions for Intuit, Quickbooks, and launching new technologies to help municipal government. Every class he ran felt like a start-up.

However, I remember the first day of his class senior year: the room was filled 15-20 seniors in the business program. Professor Singh’s aggressive syllabus and required readings alone scared off 2-3 students. He had high expectations of his students: create a business model,  write and present a thorough business plan, and keep up with the weekly readings and writings. Sure enough another 3-5 students dropped out. I am so glad I decided to stay in his class because I still go back to the things he taught us everyday.

• He helped us create working cash flow models in excel (that I still use today)
• Critiqued our business plans with a fine tooth-comb.
• Stopped us in the middle of our presentations and made us start over if we used a filler, were unsure of ourselves or lost the audience.

Given the new leadership skills I was learning, and my new outlook on life, this class resonated with me on a much different level. I saw myself as a leader now, so I could envision myself as an entrepreneur one day. That’s the beauty of college. The work we do outside the classroom sets our students up for success inside the classroom.

How they inspired me:

If it wasn’t for both Professor Huser and Professor Singh I wouldn’t have grown to love marketing and entrepreneurship. Even though I didn’t go the traditional corporate marketing route, the skills I learned in their classes have been utilized every day.

What they taught me:

They taught me to challenge the expectations that people set for me, and always try to push beyond them. They also taught me how to set ambitious expectations for myself and gave me the tools to reach them as long as I am willing to put in the work.

#Nichetip:

1. If you’re passionate like me, there will be days when you want to fire off that email out of frustration. That’s ok! But, if you have something meaningful to say, hold off on sending an email. Pick up the phone or better yet, meet with the person face to face. You’ll be surprised by how positive the outcome can be.

2. When the bar has been set high, hustle. Work hard to set the bar even higher for the next person.

Day 5 - The First Big Pivot: How a Conversation Changed the Trajectory of my Life

The summer between my sophomore and junior year in college I pushed my comfort zone to work as an orientation leader at FDU. I had no idea what I was getting into and the critical point that was about to shift my college career from good to great.

I remember when I was a first-year student and my orientation leader, Mark Bullock, said “The more you put into college, the more you’ll get out of it.”  During my first two years in college, I didn’t quite grasp what Mark meant by that statement. However, by putting myself out there and later becoming an orientation leader it slowly started to make sense. Immediately, I had 15 new friends that summer and we all lived in a string of suites in Park Ave (real-world style).

Our group was inseparable: we worked 8am-5pm together, played volleyball after work, went to concerts together, and sure enough behaved like college students that had a campus to themselves at night (swimming in the fountains and such).

Growing up as a shy kid, I finally felt like I was coming out of my shell, putting myself out there, and suddenly had several groups of friends where I could be myself.

Unconsciously, I was becoming a leader.

Waking up early, setting up tables in the student center without being asked - check.

Running corney ice breakers by myself - check. Ability to work with several different personalities - check.

Get on stage in front of hundreds of first year students twice a week - check!

However, halfway through the summer, there was a  moment that I started to realize I may have had a special skill set. Orientation was led by Sarah Azavedo (Director of Student Life) with Ray Flook and Nathalie Waite (both Assistant Directors). One morning, Sarah wanted to meet with me early before that day’s sessions. I, of course, thought I was headed to the boss’ office because I had done something wrong.

That was not the case - she told me there was a student attending today’s sessions that had a disability. She personally wanted me to be at her side for the next 48 hours to make her feel welcomed, help her get around campus, and connect her with other peers. Part of me was terrified and the other half was shouting “yes, I’ll do it!” in my head.

Well the adrenaline kicked in, I said yes and I met Anna at 8:30am that morning. Anna was an incoming first-year and only two year’s younger than me. Her energy and personality was exhilarating and contagious. She was so excited to be at college and meet new people - she couldn’t get enough of it. Later that day, I remember Courtney had a 30 minute break, joined Anna and I, and we gave her a private tour of campus. That is when we really got to know Anna.

It turns out, she was in a car accident when she was younger and she had relied on getting around in a wheelchair for most of her life and she had a slight speech impediment. I didn’t see that - I saw a young girl with a lot of ambition and excitement. I really feel like she came out of her shell because we treated her like a human being. It was one of the most rewarding days that summer, and Courtney and I still reminisce about this story.

What happened next was the real tipping point for me, and it had a major influence on why I got into student affairs.

The first week of September, Sarah, Ray, and Nat held one-on-one’s to provide feedback and get suggestions for next year from each orientation leader. I didn’t know what to expect and I definitely went into the meeting very timid. That changed quickly - I sat there and just a few minutes in, they said “Kevin, do you know you are a leader?” I was shocked at what they said and I answered the question “No, I never saw myself as a leader.” No one ever told me that before. When they said that, something clicked for me. Things haven’t been the same since that moment.

Nathalie demonstrated her belief in my potential yet again a few years later. This past semester, she hired me to present my slide design and presentation workshop to international graduate students at Steven’s Institute of Technology.

How they inspired me:

Ray, Nat and Sarah saw my potential. They saw something in me, but even better they shared what they saw. My outlook on life as I became more involved during my junior and senior year, turned into something completely different than my perspective as a timid new student on campus. The next few posts in my “How I Found My Niche” series will dive into how I became a leader.

What they taught me:

If you are an educator, leader or supervisor don’t let an opportunity to tell someone that they are a leader pass you by. My life would have been vastly different if they never told me about their perception of me in that one meeting. Even if they were thinking it, I would never have known unless they said something. Always take the moment to ‘say something.’

#Nichetip:

We are often our toughest critics, and will put ourselves in boxes. For instance, I put myself in the ‘shy kid’ box, I’ve seen students put themselves in the ‘not good at school’ box, and so on. Look outward for help on finding your niche. Ask others what they see in you. You may be surprised to hear what your supervisor, mentor, or friends think of you.

Day 4 - Let Your Talents Do the Talking

As I mentioned in my Day 1 post, in my senior year of high school my parents provided me with an experience of a lifetime. They sent me on a week-long golf trip to Wales and England with my high school golf team.

Who was responsible for setting up this amazing trip?

The one and only legend: Mr. Mike Harris.

I’m not sure how long ago this trip started, but I know my good friend Russ Bloodgood went to Scotland his freshman year. See, Mr. Harris created a week-long exchange program with high school golf teams from the U.K. with his friend Mr. Reese who lived in England. Not only were these trips a great sightseeing and golf experience, but it prepared us for the upcoming spring golf season. Needless to say, we found out the hard way that those UK boys can play – and I mean play, in any conditions.

Now, Mr. Harris isn’t one of my influencers for the sole reason he coordinated one of the sweetest trips of my life, that’s obvious. Even though I didn’t have him as a teacher, he taught me a ton on and off the golf course. In 1999, my freshmen year, I tried out for the golf team and didn’t make it. It was the first time I took golf seriously outside of playing with my dad on the weekends, and not making the team was the best thing that ever happened to me. Coming up short fueled me to get better and better. I hit thousands of balls that year and made JV my sophomore year. I still wasn’t a rock star, but Mr. Harris believed in me. He gave me chances and knew I could grind any round out.  That continued to push me to get better and make varsity my junior year.

Our senior year, we had an amazing line-up of golfers (Russ, JC, Keith, Tamara, and more)  that went 17-1, set several high school records, and became our county champions. The one thing that Mr. Harris taught myself and the rest of us, was to go about our business day by day and not get too confident. Even though I believe we deserved more recognition, he told us to let our scores on the golf course do the talking.

He also taught us to take care of those around you – family, friends, and new/old relationships. See, Mr. Harris was also the caddy master at Crystal Spring Golf Resort where I worked off an on through high school and college. Most of the time when he called and needed a large amount of caddies for an outing I would come help. I never expected this, but he always made sure I got paired with an A group. Let’s just say that I’ve caddied for a famous basketball player from the 70’s and a comedian from the late 90’s. Today, Mr. Harris is still a Social Studies teacher and golf coach to the men’s and women’s golf team at Wallkill Valley High School.

How they inspired me:

The three years I played golf on Mr. Harris’ team, is a time in my life I wish I could go back to everyday. He gave me several chances to prove myself, and in turn, improve my golf game. If it wasn’t for his leadership, I would have not fallen in love with this game like I have. I went on to play at FDU all 4 years and I still play at least once a week. For me, golf is a great stress reliever and some of my best ideas come while I walk the course.

What they taught me:

Mr. Harris taught me to be humble, let your talents do the talking, and take care of those around you.

#Nichetip:

Work hard at what you are passionate about and when you are given a chance, take it.

Here is a slideshow my father put together of all the pictures from our Wales golf tirp.