Day 7 - The Ripple Effect: A Friend’s Journey Impacted Hundreds of Lives

On my day 1 post about Appreciating Your Parents, I mentioned that I am an only child. Several times growing up I was fortunate to have my cousins (Denise, Stacy, Kim, Jenny, Ricky, and Jason) treat me like their little brother. In turn, I looked to all of them like my older brothers and sisters. I even had Ricky and Jason in my wedding party, and Courtney and I turn to my cousin Jen for life advice all the time. It’s been great having my cousins around, but as we get older it is tough to stay in touch and see each other frequently.

That’s where one of my best friends, Russ Bloodgood, enters my “How I Found My Niche” series.

I look up to Russ like a brother. We have the same taste in beer and food, love golf, and we both have very big ambitions for our lives.[wc_row][wc_column size="one-half" position="first"]

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Just like my friend John, I met Russ through sports and we became great friends in high school playing on the golf team. We traveled to Wales together our senior year, have held the same group of friends since high school, and both hold masters degrees. We have something else in common as well and it’s very unique. See, Russ is always helping others, has very strong ties to his family, and is a very hard worker.

Throughout college - Russ at Villanova, myself at FDU - we would visit each other almost once a month and get our group of friends together every break. However, our junior year, Russ said he wouldn’t be home because he was going on a trip. This wasn’t just any trip - he was dedicating his break from school to travel to Las Vegas, New Mexico to volunteer with 14 other Nova students as part of Habitat for Humanity (yes, there’s a city named Las Vegas in New Mexico) .

When Russ returned, I could see he had grown, just like I did after my summer as an orientation leader.  He told me about the new group of friends he made, the big picture perspective he now had on life, and the difference he made in the community. I was hooked and had to learn more.

Returning to school that Fall semester I immediately asked around to see if there was a trip like this that existed or if a Habitat for Humanity club was established. At the time, I turned to Sarah Azavedo and Michelle Luff, FDU’s new Assistant Director of Student Life. I said to them “my buddy Russ went on this trip, he’s now leading another one and FDU needs something like this.”

It turns out, Russ has inspired and influenced me more than anyone knows (including him). He wound up going on 3 other trips and leading one as an alumni. However, Russ made a bigger impact: he inspired me to start an alternative breaks program at FDU where we went to Opelika, AL in ‘06 and Grand Rapids, MI in ‘07.

Russ indirectly changed at least 50 people’s lives.

At Centenary College, I volunteered to help out with their Hurricane Katrina Relief trips to NOLA in ‘07 and ‘08. I contributed a lot of what Russ shared with me on those trips.

Russ indirectly changed at least 250 people lives.

At Rutgers, I served as Habitat for Humanity’s staff advisor for a year and half and again shared several pieces of advice and knowledge that Russ passed down to me. This helped more than ever because they run four trips a year. In addition, they are also raising $100,000 to build and dedicate their own house to a family in Plainfield, NJ.

Again, Russ indirectly changed 50-100 Rutgers Habitat for Humanity members and is helping another family get into a house.

What they taught me:

At the time, while we were in college, it was comforting to see one of my best friends going on this journey of experiencing college “outside the classroom.” Overall, Russ has taught me to always lend a hand and help those who need it.

#NicheTip:

You never know how far your actions can travel and who they can influence.

Day 6 - They Said I Was a Leader...Here's What Happened Next

I am a big believer in exposing college students to real-world experience. Throughout my college courses I was lucky enough to have two amazing professors that followed this belief: Ann Huser and Hart Singh.

I met Ann Huser my fall semester sophomore year when I enrolled in the “Principles of Marketing” class. This class opened my eyes to marketing and helped me decide to declare my major. Professor Huser worked for several large companies including General Foods (now Kraft Foods). Every class she would explain how what we were learning in our textbooks related to real-world experience.

The senior seminar class I took with her was one of the top 2 courses I enrolled in. We worked with Ciao Bella Gelato (with whom I also interned) to come up with a retail brand extension and campaign. When we had it all planned out, we then presented it to their Director of Marketing and Director of Sales. We learned about Ciao Bella’s competitors by visiting high end stores like Whole Foods, analyzed current market share data, and she taught us how to create a report the same way she created reports for Jell-o.

Professor Huser wasn’t just a teacher though. She became our advisor as the five of us (Mike, Sarah, Krystal, Kathryn and I) started the Marketing Mix - FDU’s first ever marketing club. We planned monthly speaking and networking events, recruited members, and wrote our own constitution. During my sophomore year, I was comfortable being a founding member and doing what was asked of me.

However, after my conversation with Ray, Nat and Sarah about my leadership potential, I had a whole new outlook on this club and my ability. Since our club was just established a little over a year earlier, several of our e-board members concluded that our current President would remain President and we would not hold elections. As an e-board member with a whole new outlook on how we could make this club even better, I couldn’t let this happen.

Instead of sending a very frustrated email to Professor Huser at 12am, I slept on it and emailed her that morning asking her to call me. That decision alone, impacted the next 6 months of my life. I discussed with her over the phone the ideas I had for the club, my leadership ability to get us there, and how we need to give other members (including myself) a chance to run for President. To this day, I know that if I emailed her rather than calmly and professionally talked to her on the phone I wouldn’t have had the same outcome. Long story, short, she agreed, organized a proper election for all e-board positions and I started my “campaigning.” Needless to say, I gave one of the best speeches of my life and became the first officially elected President for the Marketing Mix.

The second step towards student leadership was taken.

My other professor, Hart Singh, taught in the Entrepreneurship program. He was a successful entrepreneur himself creating innovative software solutions for Intuit, Quickbooks, and launching new technologies to help municipal government. Every class he ran felt like a start-up.

However, I remember the first day of his class senior year: the room was filled 15-20 seniors in the business program. Professor Singh’s aggressive syllabus and required readings alone scared off 2-3 students. He had high expectations of his students: create a business model,  write and present a thorough business plan, and keep up with the weekly readings and writings. Sure enough another 3-5 students dropped out. I am so glad I decided to stay in his class because I still go back to the things he taught us everyday.

• He helped us create working cash flow models in excel (that I still use today)
• Critiqued our business plans with a fine tooth-comb.
• Stopped us in the middle of our presentations and made us start over if we used a filler, were unsure of ourselves or lost the audience.

Given the new leadership skills I was learning, and my new outlook on life, this class resonated with me on a much different level. I saw myself as a leader now, so I could envision myself as an entrepreneur one day. That’s the beauty of college. The work we do outside the classroom sets our students up for success inside the classroom.

How they inspired me:

If it wasn’t for both Professor Huser and Professor Singh I wouldn’t have grown to love marketing and entrepreneurship. Even though I didn’t go the traditional corporate marketing route, the skills I learned in their classes have been utilized every day.

What they taught me:

They taught me to challenge the expectations that people set for me, and always try to push beyond them. They also taught me how to set ambitious expectations for myself and gave me the tools to reach them as long as I am willing to put in the work.

#Nichetip:

1. If you’re passionate like me, there will be days when you want to fire off that email out of frustration. That’s ok! But, if you have something meaningful to say, hold off on sending an email. Pick up the phone or better yet, meet with the person face to face. You’ll be surprised by how positive the outcome can be.

2. When the bar has been set high, hustle. Work hard to set the bar even higher for the next person.

For People Who Battle Procrastination: Use It Wisely

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else.

Tomorrow (noun) – a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

Going to start studying at 3:00 p.m…. 3:05 p.m.: Missed it…4:00 p.m. it is.

 Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow.

Procrastination. Ah, yes, we’ve all been there: seven hours before the 8:00 a.m. due date of a 12-15 page paper that was casually started yesterday….night…while watching New Girl. Basically, the only content on the page is:

Name

Professor

Course Title

Date

Title

In a handful of unique situations, procrastination may lead to successful completion of a task or project. Some research even says occasional procrastination isn’t all that bad. After all, procrastination is really just a matter of prioritizing and time management. However, whether it’s with chores, college assignments or work tasks, procrastination can be a significant hindrance in one’s reliability and performance. Habitual procrastinators are simply living through life’s experiences. Getting by. Surviving through it and hurriedly moving on to the next task.

Where’s the opportunity for creativity? Where’s the opportunity to evaluate?

Allotting the appropriate amount of time to accomplish a goal opens a gateway for creativity. More time to complete the basic criteria gives one the chance to take a second, maybe third, look at the finished product while considering alternative and creative ways to express the ultimate point. Going that extra mile can sometimes be the difference between a B+ and an A from a professor, or the difference between “Thanks” and “This is great work, thank you!” from a supervisor. For example, getting a head start on the job search will give you the time and patience you need to obtain a job that’s a right fit for you. Starting in advance means you have more time to network with potential connections, more time to search postings and company profiles and more time to explore the various opportunities and avenues available to you such as unconventional job search strategies.

Getting started on a project early also gives one the chance to edit and reconsider aspects of the work once the first draft or version is complete. Hurriedly sending an email to a job recruiter before the job application closes at midnight can lead to grammatical errors, incorrect information, and that embarrassing second email, “whoops, I forgot the attachment.” Now that’s an unfortunate first impression.

On the other hand, taking the time to sit down and craft an email that is clear, concise and correct can lead to tremendous opportunities. Starting ahead means that errors and contradicting points that would, perhaps, go unnoticed are realized and corrected before another set of eyes take a look.

Procrastination and the Job Search

A great example would be the infamous cover letter. If you’ve procrastinated submitting your credentials for a posting, chances are you’ll be submitting a classic, mundane cover letter complete with all the necessary points…the boring, inorganic necessary points. This will not wow a recruiter. In fact, the recruiter, who reads hundreds of cover letters, will immediately realize your disregard to crafting an authentic and unique cover letter specific to the company and, more importantly, the position. Taking the time to prepare a genuine cover letter shows care and interest.

An opportunity to review and evaluate the task in its final stages will show a professor or supervisor that the work was not done simply to check it off the list. It was a priority and that dedication should not go unnoticed. Evaluation provides details and avenues for improvement on future work, too, allowing one to grow and develop as a student or professional.

Procrastination can become a bad habit which can significantly affect the daily routine and attitude of a person. Once one task has been procrastinated, chances are many other important and sometimes time-sensitive priorities will follow suit. Habitual procrastination can become an unhealthy lifestyle and you won’t even realize what you’re missing. Procrastination means spending more money on vacations, taxes and other things. It means staying late at work to finish a project instead of going to happy hour with your buddies.

A popular phrase says, “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.” Oh but it does. One person’s procrastination could seriously impact the way another person’s job or team assignment functions and then it becomes this huge, sour snowball effect full of irritated coworkers, annoyed supervisors and potentially negative reviews of the final work.

I won't sit here and pretend that I don't procrastinate because that could not be further from the truth. It is an exhilarating feeling working under pressure, under a deadline. That's the journalist in me. I will say, though, that  the key with procrastination is to use it productively. Consider the reason for procrastinating a task:

1. I don’t feel like doing it.
2. I have other things to do.
3. It won’t be that difficult.
4. It isn’t really time sensitive.

Consider who your procrastination might affect:

1. My boss.

2. My family/friends.

3. My teammates.

Then, evaluate and determine whether it is beneficial to put off the task. If it actually can wait, while allowing the opportunity and time for at least an evaluation before submission, then by all means, go on a Netflix binge of New Girl. Otherwise, do something today, right now even, that your future self will thank you for.

Day 5 - The First Big Pivot: How a Conversation Changed the Trajectory of my Life

The summer between my sophomore and junior year in college I pushed my comfort zone to work as an orientation leader at FDU. I had no idea what I was getting into and the critical point that was about to shift my college career from good to great.

I remember when I was a first-year student and my orientation leader, Mark Bullock, said “The more you put into college, the more you’ll get out of it.”  During my first two years in college, I didn’t quite grasp what Mark meant by that statement. However, by putting myself out there and later becoming an orientation leader it slowly started to make sense. Immediately, I had 15 new friends that summer and we all lived in a string of suites in Park Ave (real-world style).

Our group was inseparable: we worked 8am-5pm together, played volleyball after work, went to concerts together, and sure enough behaved like college students that had a campus to themselves at night (swimming in the fountains and such).

Growing up as a shy kid, I finally felt like I was coming out of my shell, putting myself out there, and suddenly had several groups of friends where I could be myself.

Unconsciously, I was becoming a leader.

Waking up early, setting up tables in the student center without being asked - check.

Running corney ice breakers by myself - check. Ability to work with several different personalities - check.

Get on stage in front of hundreds of first year students twice a week - check!

However, halfway through the summer, there was a  moment that I started to realize I may have had a special skill set. Orientation was led by Sarah Azavedo (Director of Student Life) with Ray Flook and Nathalie Waite (both Assistant Directors). One morning, Sarah wanted to meet with me early before that day’s sessions. I, of course, thought I was headed to the boss’ office because I had done something wrong.

That was not the case - she told me there was a student attending today’s sessions that had a disability. She personally wanted me to be at her side for the next 48 hours to make her feel welcomed, help her get around campus, and connect her with other peers. Part of me was terrified and the other half was shouting “yes, I’ll do it!” in my head.

Well the adrenaline kicked in, I said yes and I met Anna at 8:30am that morning. Anna was an incoming first-year and only two year’s younger than me. Her energy and personality was exhilarating and contagious. She was so excited to be at college and meet new people - she couldn’t get enough of it. Later that day, I remember Courtney had a 30 minute break, joined Anna and I, and we gave her a private tour of campus. That is when we really got to know Anna.

It turns out, she was in a car accident when she was younger and she had relied on getting around in a wheelchair for most of her life and she had a slight speech impediment. I didn’t see that - I saw a young girl with a lot of ambition and excitement. I really feel like she came out of her shell because we treated her like a human being. It was one of the most rewarding days that summer, and Courtney and I still reminisce about this story.

What happened next was the real tipping point for me, and it had a major influence on why I got into student affairs.

The first week of September, Sarah, Ray, and Nat held one-on-one’s to provide feedback and get suggestions for next year from each orientation leader. I didn’t know what to expect and I definitely went into the meeting very timid. That changed quickly - I sat there and just a few minutes in, they said “Kevin, do you know you are a leader?” I was shocked at what they said and I answered the question “No, I never saw myself as a leader.” No one ever told me that before. When they said that, something clicked for me. Things haven’t been the same since that moment.

Nathalie demonstrated her belief in my potential yet again a few years later. This past semester, she hired me to present my slide design and presentation workshop to international graduate students at Steven’s Institute of Technology.

How they inspired me:

Ray, Nat and Sarah saw my potential. They saw something in me, but even better they shared what they saw. My outlook on life as I became more involved during my junior and senior year, turned into something completely different than my perspective as a timid new student on campus. The next few posts in my “How I Found My Niche” series will dive into how I became a leader.

What they taught me:

If you are an educator, leader or supervisor don’t let an opportunity to tell someone that they are a leader pass you by. My life would have been vastly different if they never told me about their perception of me in that one meeting. Even if they were thinking it, I would never have known unless they said something. Always take the moment to ‘say something.’

#Nichetip:

We are often our toughest critics, and will put ourselves in boxes. For instance, I put myself in the ‘shy kid’ box, I’ve seen students put themselves in the ‘not good at school’ box, and so on. Look outward for help on finding your niche. Ask others what they see in you. You may be surprised to hear what your supervisor, mentor, or friends think of you.

How A Coffee Table Changed My Life

After spending 3 years in college and changing my major more times than I care to admit, I still had no idea the direction in which I wanted to take my career. I was sitting in the living room of my apartment with my roommates late one night and as I uncrossed my legs to stand up, I hit my foot on the coffee table, shattering the bones. An injury that eventually left me bedridden with a metal pin sticking out of the top of my foot for three months, and forced me to drop out of college. I didn't realize it then, but the circumstance I thought would be detrimental to my future actually ended up being the beginning of it.I had always been discouraged from majoring in the things I enjoyed because they “didn't make enough money” and the things that did make “enough money” bored me to the point of tears. So for 3 years, I wandered the campus feeling lost, just trying to make it past the next exam with no real sense of security concerning what my future might hold. The truth was, I didn't want to be in college. I didn't feel like it was for me, but my high school guidance counselors seemed to have conspired with my mother to convince me that it was the only option after high school.

After coming out of my post surgery haze, I realized I was faced with a very difficult decision. I could either return to college to please my mother or I could take the time to figure out what it is that I wanted to do and if i wanted to go back at all. Eventually I caved in to the pressure and began preparing to return to school. I applied for a job close to a campus at a local university where I planned to enroll and planned to work there while I went back to school. It was a live on position at an extended stay hotel. I got the job, and it took me two weeks to realize that this was exactly what I was meant to do. I enjoyed every aspect of the job and found myself missing work when I wasn’t working as opposed to watching the clock waiting to get off. This unexpected discovery invigorated me with a new sense of motivation and compelled me to take control of my own life. So for the first time in my life, I told my mother “no.” I was not going to go back to college. (At least for the time being.) I was not going to be a lawyer. I was not going to be a doctor. I was not going to resign my happiness for a dollar amount or a corner office. I was going to do what made me happy. June 1st will make two years since i’ve been with the company. I’ve worked very hard and been met with the same dedication from the company in return. Within my time here i've gotten promoted and been rewarded with some amazing opportunities. I've never, even for a second, regretted my decision and I couldn’t be more pleased with the career path that i've chosen. Now to be clear, I definitely do not recommend injuring yourself or dropping out of college on a quest to accidentally find a career. My story is odd to say the least, but there are some key elements that can be taken away and applied towards finding (or figuring out) your niche.

Make the best of the worst. Don't let a temporary set back permanently keep you from getting ahead. Many times it’s hard to see how you will make it through tough times, but as cliche as it sounds there is very often a silver lining. If there isn't a silver lining, create one. I don't know that I believe there’s a reason for everything, but I do believe you can achieve a positive outcome from anything. It’s all about your perspective and how you choose to react to whatever is thrown your way.

Disregard the traditions. For me, college just was not a good fit. I still wholeheartedly believe in education, I just choose to educate myself in other ways. I only stayed as long as I did because it was “what I was supposed to do.” There is no right way to do life. You have to figure out what’s right for you. Find whatever path to success is the one that you enjoy and stick with it.

Know when to say “no.” There’s nothing wrong with saying no when you mean it. Follow your intuition and stick your guns. Figure out what your priorities are and use those to guide our decisions. If you are being pushed towards something you do not want, be it by a family member or guidance counselor, push back. Be confident about what it is you want and work hard towards it.

Keep an open mind. You may not know what makes you happy until you try it. When opportunities arise, take advantage of them. Try new things and you just may be surprised what fits you. The future may not look the way you imagined, but it may pleasantly surprise you if you give it the chance.

Sometimes it's easy to forget how big the world is and once we forget that we tend to view our options as limited. If you keep in mind how big the world around you actually is, it makes sense that there are so many other ways to be successful and find your niche than the ones you have been taught. So stop whatever it is you are doing that is not serving your happiness or pushing you towards your goals. It may seem scary at first, but that one thing you try when everyone is telling you not to, just may be your niche.