Looking to Relocate For a Job Opportunity? Ask Yourself These Four Questions

Two years ago I graduated from college. Two and a half years ago my then-boyfriend-now-husband was offered a position at a tech company. The kicker being it was on the other side of the country.

After going to college within two hours of home, were we really prepared to pack up and move to the other side of the country? After a week or so of debating and weighing the pros and cons, we decided to go for it. We asked ourselves a myriad of questions before we made our final decision, and in hindsight, some turned out to be much more relevant than others.

If you are on the fence about relocating for a job opportunity, I suggest you consider these questions and your answers very carefully: 

1. Do you have a support system?

Yes, you can move on your own and start over in a new place where hardly anyone knows your name, but it’s a lot easier when you know you have people behind you who support your decision. 

Making friends outside of work and school is hard. We connect easily to the people who are connected to us by a place or time, but once you start looking to make friends outside of those places it is much more difficult. While most people are friendly, it seems like the older we get, the less people actually want to be friends. 

Having an established support system (even on the other side of the country) to keep in touch with will provide you support when you are really worried about things but also will (hopefully) give you the kick in the pants you need to get out of your apartment and make friends.  

2. Can you afford to be homesick? Could you get back to your family quickly in an emergency?

Living so far away from our family and most of our closest friends is really tough sometimes. We aren’t able to celebrate many milestones in person and miss out on a lot of bonding time. Occasionally, I want nothing more than to hop on a plane back to the land of the familiar.

It is a luxury to be able to travel at the drop of a hat, and if you the type of person that is really close with and dependent on your family and friends, you’ll need to budget that into your lifestyle. 

Additionally, consider the expense of a family emergency. How far is the flight or drive between your new home and your old one? This was something my mom brought up before we made our final decision. 

Luckily, because she brought it up well ahead of time, we have set up an emergency travel fund that we can use in case of an emergency with our families. Unfortunately, we had to use it this year when my mom suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm (see - anything can happen at anytime). Because I was prepared, I was able to be at her side within 12 hours of getting that phone call, and I am extremely grateful that it was something I was ready for ahead of time. 

3. Will it be worth it?

Is the job something you really want to do and are interested in? It’s one thing to accept an offer where you are already established and could easily leave the job if it wasn’t what you really wanted. Once you’ve moved and set up shop somewhere else, it could be a lot more difficult to leave your position.

In our case, the company relocated us, however, if we had decided that it wasn’t going to work out, the second relocation expenses would be on us (something we weren’t truly able to afford at the time).

Another thing we considered was the type of jobs in our current area. The type of position my husband was looking for wasn’t readily available and the advancement opportunities and challenges within the position also weren’t favorable. If you are serious about your work, relocating might be worth it just for this aspect - it has been for us so far. 

4. Have you ever been to the place you’d relocate to? 

Please do your research on your new area. If you can, make a trip out before you make your final decision and give yourself some time to scope at neighborhoods and interact with locals. Look at things like the rent prices across the area, the commute to work, and the public transportation (especially if you won’t have a car). These things are logistical, but if you really dislike the place you live, your commute, etc., it can leave a sour taste in your mouth for your new city before you’ve even had the chance to experience it.  

Ultimately, what you put into the pro and con categories will depend on your situation. As you get older, packing up and relocating for a job will be a bit more of a hassle when you have a family with established routines, so right after college is a good time as any to set out on a new adventure. Just make sure you are prepared and good luck!

See What Sticks: Curiosity, Critics and Creativity

Hi everyone, Amma Marfo here. Two quick things about me that you’ll need to know before we begin:

(1) I am a reader. I am a library-loving, constant tome-carrying, unapologetic bibliophile. (2) If there’s anyone you will meet who can connect what she’s reading to the world around her, it’s me.

As such, I want to dedicate my time in this space to sharing with you what I’m reading, and how it could inform a budding professional’s daily life. 

While I am a devoted fan of the longform written word, there's another medium on which I do a lot of reading: Twitter. 140 character bursts of content have given me quite a bit: helped me connect with new friends and old, find exciting new sources of inspiration and development, and even find this opportunity to write for you all! But one of my favorite uses of Twitter has been the means to connect with people you may never get to talk to otherwise. This can be particularly exciting for bibliophiles such as myself, who can use it to connect with authors. I still remember the rush I got when I first connected with Judy Blume, author of the first chapter book I ever read on my own- Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. I still get butterflies thinking about it :)

Most recently, I've been using Twitter to connect with Paul Jarvis, a web designer and writer who has a fantastic blog on Medium as well as his own website. As he approached the release of his new book, The Good Creative, I felt compelled to reach out and see if he'd be willing to share his thoughts about the book, his creative process, and how it could inform my profession. Luckily, he's a legit human and graciously accepted. I got to talk to him a little bit more about some of the eighteen habits he shares in his book as key to doing creative work. Even though my day job might not always be seen as a place that appreciates creativity, Paul's helping me see how I can disrupt my day-to-day; hopefully, it will do the same for you!

Habit: Trying and failing repeatedly. Paul's a tremendous believer in creating space to try and fail repeatedly toward the achievement of any goal. As someone who learned his craft of web design through experimentation, he literally had to fail many times before he succeeded. But trying and failing repeatedly, in his opinion, gives you a lot. It gives you the opportunity to find your voice, to get input from others on what your talents are, and can help you develop a thick skin and resilient attitude that makes sharing your craft with others easier. Paul is particularly passionate about this final element of the process. A related habit that he discusses is sharing your ugly process. By that, he means that you should do your best to share the journey that takes you to your final product. When we spoke more about this, he said:

Unless people are taught what goes into making something, they might not value it as much, so I like to share how I go from A to B with the work, so people get the inside story. You appreciate the band more when you watch [Behind the Music] those, and they’re interesting too- when someone who’s not a musician sees what goes into making an album or doing a tour [...] you appreciate it more deeply.

It can be easy to assume that the final product that someone else creates was effortless. But by allowing ourselves to experience the feeling of trying and failing repeatedly, and sharing those triumphs and struggles with others, we gain perspective on what it takes to get to that final product that people so revere.

Habit: Hug your critics. With that said, not everyone is going to be a fan of the final product. Some people are just haters. But Paul pushes back against this principle, encouraging people to hug their critics. Paul works under the concept of producing for your rat people. As a proud rat owner, he recognizes that lots of people don't care for rats- they're afraid of them, they think they're gross, they don't understand their appeal. But those who like rats, really like rats. They photograph them, they take care of them, they dedicate websites and message boards to them. He doesn't converse with those who don't get rats, about rats. He talks to the people who get it.

But, part of Paul's livelihood depends on being able to write for people who aren't his rat people. What do you do then? Part of doing effective work that can serve you financially is being able to adapt your work for a larger and more viable audience:

As long as my message is still the same and intact, and what I’m trying to say sounds like me, then it’s okay. Adapting your art is fine, as long as it stays true to you and the original message is intact.

As we chatted further, he shared that he pitches ideas to clients with their priorities in mind. Sometimes the ideas are outside of the box that these individuals travel in, other times they're more in line with their traditional strategy. But showing an understanding of what his clients (and occasional critics) are looking for, what they value, has helped him sustain relationships that don't always come so naturally. There can be a balance between serving your friends and the people who get you, and finding ways to serve those that may struggle to do so. Paul's book gives lots of advice on how to do just this.

Habit: Focus on the process, not the outcome. I'm sure we all know someone from classes or our major who was obsessed with the endgame. Getting famous. Getting an A. Building a resume. And these types of goals can be easy to focus on, even though there are other valuable things we can get from an experience (relationships, skills, exposure to new ideas). I asked Paul what his advice is for staying focused on the values that are inherent in the process. His advice?

I think a lot of it comes down to the ‘why’ there. Focusing on the process is important because it forces you to be present. If you want to get an ‘A’ in school or you want to get a degree, those are sort of intangible at the time. Being present with your intention is moving you toward that outcome.

Paul actually alludes to this principle on one of his other projects, a new podcast called Invisible Office Hours. He talks about his typical morning routine and how it helps prepare him for the day. By doing one task at a time- making and drinking his morning coffee, writing, spending time on social media- he is aware of the value that each task gives him. He speaks similarly about how he added writing as a sort of day job: he kept the revenue streams and time for web design and writing separate. He could see how each made him feel, what each gave him, and what he enjoyed about each. By making time to focus on the task at hand, taking inventory of what we get from these tasks and how we can be better, the seeming end motivation (such as salary or recognition) matters a little less.

The Good Creative is a wonderful read that can help anyone at all do better work. It doesn't have to be what we all tend to think of as creative work; Paul says "it’s taking an idea, turning it into something tangible (and marketable, if that’s the direction you want to go)." If this sounds like you, Paul's book is one for you. 

Day 1 - Appreciating Your Parents

As we get older, the more obvious it is that our parents played such an important role to shape us into the adults we are today. Lately, I have been counting my blessings on how lucky I am to have both my parents, Kevin and Mary, side by side, every step of my journey. As I reflect on who my parents truly are and what they value, it is crazy how much of their characteristics, values, and personalities have blended into who I am at 31 years old. My dad, Kevin, has been the hardest working, most caring man I know. He’s reserved, soft-spoken, and conservative. But just like me, when he speaks, people listen. My mom, Mary, on the other hand, is the life of the party, could talk a dog off a bone, and has the sharpest memory I’ve ever seen (this has it’s pro’s and con’s, believe me). Mom, I if you're reading this I mean that in the nicest way possible :)

I get my hard working, “help-everyone” attitude from my dad, but can put to use my mom’s outgoing personality to strike up conversations to network and connect people together. I’m most grateful that the memory gene has been passed onto me and it comes in handy while building relationships with everyone I meet.

I grew up a simple life. I am an only child, but lucky enough to have many cousins around, that at several times, felt like brothers and sisters. My parents never gave me more than I needed, but always seemed to make things work even if times were tight or something seemed out of reach. Perfect example: My senior year of high school in 2002, I had the opportunity to visit Wales and England because of an exchange program my golf coach set up every four years. I'm pretty confident no one in my family has traveled overseas and every way they could, they supported this once in a lifetime experience. I thank you both everyday for this.

Here’s a snapshot of how they’ve inspired me, what they taught me, and what you can take away.

How they inspired me: As I reflect to answer this question, I know they want me to be happy. I never had pressure to become “successful” or follow a family member’s footsteps. They allowed me to be who I wanted to be, but when I reached out for help, they are there.

What they taught me: They taught me that there’s always a way to “make it work.” Whether it relates to finances, marriage, family, or career you can find a way to solve the problem, move forward, and look to the bright side.

#NicheTip: What I'd like you to take away from this post is that there is someone out there that has or is going to someday shape your life.

1. Don’t take them for granted and let them know they influenced you.

2. Reflect on how they have inspired you and pass that onto others.

3. If you want something bad enough, find a way to “make it work.”

See What Sticks: Tips for a hAPPy Life

This month's read was the latest book from Harvard professor and educational psychologist Howard Gardner. Along with fellow researcher (and former student) Katie Davis, he wrote The App Generation: How Today's Youth Navigate Identity, Intimacy, and Imagination in a Digital World. Lest you believe this will be a post lamenting the ubiquitous nature of technology in our society, let me put your mind at ease: that's not what I'm here for. Gardner and Davis provide compelling evidence on either side of that particular argument. What I want to talk about is an interesting distinction they make in the use of apps: are you, in your day-to-day life, app-dependent or app-enabled? Davis and Gardner disambiguate this pair of terms early in the book, then go on to explain how each element they explore (identity, intimacy, and imagination) can be affected by one mentality or another. According to Davis and Gardner:

[...] apps that allow or encourage us to pursue new possibilities are app-enabling. In contrast, when we allow apps to restrict or determine our procedures, choices and goals, we become app-dependent. [emphasis added]

To draw the analogy of building a house: do you see apps as the foundation upon which you build, or the walls that define where the house is and how you can navigate within it? Before you decide which characterization applies to your way of life, consider this pair of quotes from two different places in the book:

Apps are great if they take care of ordinary stuff and thereby free us to explore new paths, form deeper relationships, ponder the bigger mysteries of life, forge a unique and meaningful identity. But if apps merely turn us into more skilled couch potatoes who do not think for ourselves, or pose new questions, or develop significant relationships, or fashion an appropriate, rounded, and continually evolving sense of self, then the apps simply line the road to serfdom, psychologically speaking. ("Introduction") Many students come to college with their lives all mapped out- a super-app. "I'll major in government, join the Institute of Politics, intern in DC in the summer, work for Teach for America, then run for state senator in my home district when I'm twenty-eight." Paths to the likes of Goldman-Sachs or McKinsey, architectural design or neurosurgery, follow similar trajectories. Put in Eriksonian terms, the students' identities are prematurely foreclosed because they don't allow space to explore alternatives. Not only is this mentality unrealistic (you might flunk organic chemistry, you might flub your interview at Google), but, importantly, it makes those kids who do not have their identities all mapped out-- who lack the super-app-- feel that they are losing out. ("Personal Identity in the Age of the App")

The desire to move from high school to college to the working world, sprinkling "developmentally appropriate" milestones such as marriage, financial independence, and parenthood along the way (achievements like this in an actual app could be represented by "badges") is, in some instances, part of an app-dependent mentality. But I want to clarify that statement. Am I say that any of these milestones should not be reached for? NOT AT ALL. But feeling pressure to graduate college at 21, be a department head or manager at 26, married at 30, or president by the Constitutionally-mandated minimum age of 35 is not altogether different from expecting to arrive at a hotel in 33 minutes just because your GPS told you so. In both instances, your expectations for what could be are supplanted by what you expect, demand, or require of yourself. In both instances, there's little space to be lost. And make no mistake- it's okay to be a little lost. When was the last time you truly allowed yourself to get lost? Lost on a series of roads, lost in a really good piece of music, lost in thought? There's time. I promise. And by giving up the idea of app-dependence, life-path dependence...you stand a better chance of succumbing to that lost feeling.

Daydreaming, wandering, and wondering have positive facets. Introspection may be particularly important for young people who are actively figuring out who and what they want to be. Without time and space to ponder alternative ways of being in the world--without breaking away from an app-determined life-- young persons risk prematurely foreclosing their identities, making it less likely that they will achieve a fully realized and personally fulfilling sense of self. ("Acts [and Apps] of Imagination")

But a word of warning: there is equal danger in what I call app-independence, or the equivalent of operating with simply a pair of coordinates. Finding your own way with little to no help or aim (what, in the wilderness, is known as orienteering) is extremely difficult, and dangerous if not undertaken thoughtfully. Look no further than Jon Krakauer's Into the Wild (the book, not the movie...just trust me) for an example of what happens when aimlessness is pursued as a direct alternative to an app-dependent existence. So if app-dependence is proverbial autopilot, and app-independence resembles staggering in the wilderness, what does app-enablement look like? Well, think of app-enablement as another object that rhymes with app- a map. Unlike a GPS or even point by point instructions given by GoogleMaps or MapQuest, maps show you the lay of the land and provide context for your surroundings. They can show you the most direct way to get somewhere, but also provide the context needed to safely veer off course, free to journey off course while mitigating fear of losing your way altogether. With a map, you can go your own way (marry later in life, take an unconventional career path, retire early) with an eye on the "grand scheme" of things. When apps enable that process, one is open to the idea of finding a job online without feeling tethered to sites like Monster or Indeed; one can trust that there are ways besides OKCupid or Tinder to meet that special someone. To loosen, but not abandon, your grip on not just technological apps, but any promise of a predetermined path to success, will help reduce anxiety and discover joy as your next steps unfold. To return to Davis and Gardner's words:

The birth of writing did not destroy human memory, though it probably brought to the fore different forms of memory for different purposes. The birth of printing did not destroy beautifully wrought graphic works, nor did it undermine all hierarchically organized religions. And the birth of apps need not destroy the human capacities to generate new issues and new solutions, and to approach them with the aid of technology when helpful, and otherwise to rely on one's wit.

Can you see areas in which you're app-dependent? What steps can you take toward being app-enabled?

5 Reasons We Believe We Can Change the World

Since I was six years old, I knew I wanted to be: a history teacher. However, a common thing I have heard over the years from teachers is "don't go into teaching." Not only is this discouraging and frustrating, it’s also sad. I have read blogs from teachers, families, administrators, and students telling me to ignore it.

But what I haven’t read are the reasons myself and all of the future teachers in the world who believe we will be the ones to make change should follow our passions - but these are the reasons.

1.     The potential impact is worth the risk of not changing the world. Maybe changing the entire world is not possible, but I can change the life of one child (or adult). There are flaws in the system of education, we know this. We need educational equity; we need to find a happy medium between having standards and not teaching to a test, we need to do a lot of things. Can one teacher change all of these problems? No. But, those who give up on it are perpetuating the problems. This idea goes into every career - there are problems, and we are imperfect beings. But then we should actively decide to be part of the solution and don’t add to what is already messed up.

2.     An individual can radiate a message that can shift a system in the right direction. As an RA in undergrad, I had an interaction with a student the first few days of the year that was less than positive; she was angry that I wrote her up for a policy violation. Every day following she would advert her eyes or roll them when I would pass her. And every day I would smile and say hello. I would ask how she was doing and she would ignore me and keep walking. But, I never stopped saying hello. On the last day of the school year I found a card on my door and inside that same student had written "thank you for never giving up on me." I made an impact on a student that needed to be shown there are people who won't give up on her, despite mistakes, and despite circumstance. As an individual I radiated that message and perhaps as she continues in the world she will remember it when she has the choice whether or not to give up on someone else. I caused a shift.

3.     Because I have people that believe in me, I can believe in people I haven’t even met yet. I truly believe that no one gets anywhere alone. Everything in your life is determined by others and by their perceptions. Somehow, I’ve had many people who have believed in me and because of that I am determined to believe in other people. So I give advice when I am asked, I say kind words about others, and if I see someone upset even if I don’t know them I stop and ask if they are okay. Most of all, I root for people to be successful. I think anyone, in any career, can search to find people to believe in. One small action causes a reaction. Return the favor and the world will change, becoming better than it was before.

4.     We have gotten this far because there were a few people that believed that changing the “way things are” was not only possible, but it was their responsibility. The history buff in me really stands by this one. If you paid attention at all in history classes, you know that throughout history there have been really awful times and events that someone thought had to stop, and so they caused the world to change. Can everyone be a major historical figure? No. However, you can view it as your responsibility to take active ownership in making things better and refusing to accept the “way things are” if they are not working. Why are historical figures like these remembered? They changed lives. If you take ownership like this, I’m sure you’ll change someone’s life.

5.     Because I love what I am doing. I love inspiring people, I love teaching them something new. I love teaching them how people no one thought were going to amount to anything have completely changed history. Basically, I am going to spend the rest of my life teaching kids that people like them can change the world, so I guess it’s a good thing I believe I can change it, too.

So let's pledge to not discourage young professionals from making an impact. When we tell someone that they should not go after their dreams what you are really saying is that their ability to make an impact is impossible. Michelle Obama has said, "we've got a responsibility to live up to the legacy of those who came before us by doing all that we can to help those who come after us." Let's allow them the space to take risks and to have a niche.