See What Sticks: The Health of Your Career is a Joke

Hi everyone, Amma Marfo here. Two quick things about me that you’ll need to know before we begin: (1) I am a reader. I am a library-loving, constant tome-carrying, unapologetic bibliophile. (2) If there’s anyone you will meet who can connect what she’s reading to the world around her, it’s me. As such, I want to dedicate my time in this space to sharing with you what I’m reading, and how it could inform a budding professional’s daily life.

Confession Time: I wasn't very good at my first job.

Sure, I was competent...most of the time. When I started my career, I built good relationships and worked hard to get better in the areas where I struggled. By the time I left, I knew what my next steps needed to be and even though it was hard, I am thankful for the decisions that followed.

But I also wasn't very good because I wasn't myself. I didn't know how to be. At 22 years old, working at a community college advising students my own age, older, or much much older (I had a student senator in her sixties!), I sacrificed being myself for being professional, businesslike, and appearing knowledgeable. It felt wrong at the time- to borrow a quote from the 1989 John Cusack film Say Anything that a friend reminded me of earlier this week, "You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious... and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment!"

Many of the students and colleagues that I work with now would never doubt those qualities in me, something that I'm proud of. But I didn't realize until I finished this month's read, Peter McGraw and Joel Warner's The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny, just how far I'm come when it comes to bringing my sense of humor to work.

I have to say, being funny at the office is far from an easy proposition. Comedian and writer Mike Birbiglia talks about the challenges of cultivating a sense of humor that balances enjoyment with tastefulness, noting, "Jokes have been ruined by people who aren't funny." And he's absolutely right. Think about all the Human Resources-mandated apologies, the Tweets of contrition, and the press releases that we see when a funny comment goes wrong. I won't go into McGraw and Warner's scientific strategy on this here, but I have written about it elsewhere if you're interested in learning more. Bottom line: being amusing without being a jerk can be hard.

McGraw and Warner travel around the world- to Montreal for a comedy festival, to New York to work with cartoonists and advertising agents, to the Palestine to see how humor works in times of crisis (I finished this book two days before the recent unrest began), and to South America to see how humor keeps people healthy. Along the way, they learned several lessons about what is funny, and how these lessons can help you be funny in your own life.

From Japan: Know your audience. Did you know that America produces fewer comedy films now than in previous years because the humor doesn't translate to profit overseas? If your audience is varied in their sense of humor or understanding, your approach has to adapt too. There is no one way to get (most) projects done, no one way to lead, no one way to make people laugh. There are nearly as many approaches as there are people in the world, and it will benefit you enormously to take the time to learn. It may take a week, or it may take a year, but take the time to familiarize yourself with your surroundings. Get to know the people you'll be working with, the priorities of your bosses and leadership, and the culture of your office or department. Your efforts to succeed, contribute, and laugh will go over far better once you have a good handle on the context in which you're working.

From New York: if you can't be "ha-ha" funny, be "a-ha" funny! Some of you may say, "I'm not funny" or "I don't want to be funny at work!" That's okay. However, you may still have the chance to be the "a-ha" person; don't pass up that opportunity! Even when you're new to an organization or office, you have insights that you can share. It can be intimidating at times to speak up, especially when your team is comprised of older or more experienced professionals. But as an adopted New Yorker (Tina Fey) says in her book Bossypants, "It's your responsibility to contribute [...] Your initiations are worthwhile." When you hit upon just the right idea, the smile may not be one of amusement; it might instead be one of pride or excitement. Those smiles are just as necessary in the day-to-day, so don't be afraid to voice any idea that might result in one!

From Tanzania: Don't be afraid to chuckle at yourself. This is an important one. Being the new guy or girl, being the newest to an office, or taking on a new role can be daunting. And we all, no matter our age or level of experience, can start to doubt ourselves or be nervous about making a good impression because of that. But you're going to have moments where you can only laugh. Whether it's because you've done something silly, because you can't believe your good fortune, or because the alternative is crying or screaming, take a moment to find the lighter side and laugh. In my first role, I had reasons to laugh that fit all of those descriptions (everything from misordered promotional items to a screaming fight with a faculty member). And it was harder work to laugh at some of them than others, but ultimately finding the levity in those moments got me through them.

From Los Angeles: Be honest and authentic. This advice comes up a lot, in everything from interviewing to speaking up in meetings, and it's no less true when it comes to expressing your funny or silly side. We all know what trying to be funny looks like and sounds like; these efforts rarely succeed. Think about the moments in life that make you laugh- the daily commute, text messages from friends, your reaction to something you read or saw on TV. Just as this site, and indeed your life, is about finding your niche, so it goes for your sense of humor. If you're going to tell a joke or share a funny quip, make sure it makes you laugh first. If not, don't bother. Someone else can make that joke sing.

Even with all the advice given above, I want to end this post with the advice shared by Peter McGraw, whose desire to create an academic formula to predict humor (I want to teach that!) fueled this whole worldwide search:

Surround yourself with the people and things that make you laugh. Seek out interesting places and interesting people. Focus on the friends that make you laugh, not the ones who bring you down. Choose as a partner someone with whom you share a sense of humor, someone who helps you see the lighter side of life [...] And maybe it's cliched, but remind yourself that everything is going to be okay. That thing that seems so scary in the moment, so catastrophic and worrisome, is only scary because you're paying so much attention to it. It's okay to complain, but add a bit of wit to your grumbling.

How Crossfit Helped Me Launch A Kickstarter Campaign

Consistency. It’s one of the hardest things for me when it comes to working out and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Throughout college I would go in spurts where I would workout with my roommates but none of us really had any idea what were doing in the gym. Sure, the saying “it’s leg day, bro” would be thrown around but did we really know the proper form, let alone the appropriate weight and rep scheme? Hell, no! Since graduating college and hitting the real world, I have been fortunate enough to work at different colleges and had free access to recreation centers. In fact, for the last six years my office has been no more than 10 feet from a fitness center. I found working out as a painstaking chore. I know that working out 3-4 times a week is good for you. While I’ve seen results, I have never been able to stick with it for more than a few weeks at a time. Until now!

On June 5th, I joined Endorphin Crossfit in Middlesex, NJ.

It just so happens that was the same day I released my first blog post in my 30 day “Find Your Niche” series for The Niche Movement.

Two full months later sticking with crossfit at least 3 (sometimes 4) times a week, I have seen some crazy correlations between positive gains in the gym and in my life. This summer was filled with early mornings and late nights of writing, networking, brainstorming, and executing new projects to get to where I am on my final day of my Kickstarter campaign.

If you are a busy person that has battled with consistency in the gym while leading a busy life then these three tips can help - especially as summer comes to an end.

1. Mastery

I have taken my share of classes and tried various routines over the last eight years. However, I have noticed that when you take a class like spin or workout (or go running) by yourself, it requires A LOT of self-discipline. At Endorphin, from my first class to now, there has been a detailed plan everyday. You are held accountable not by only by the amazing coaches, but by your peers in your class. Everyone is giving it their all, reaching for their next PR, or trying something new for the very first time like me. Every crossfit class helps me strive to master a new lift, technique, or physically test my endurance to my body in ways I haven’t been pushed since being a high school athlete.

Since I decided to turn my blogging series for The Niche Movement into a book to end employment unhappiness for this generation, I went down roads I thought I would never travel. There were weekends I spent filming my Kickstarter video, mornings pitching and interviewing press, and late nights emailing friends, family, and people in my network for contributions. I kept to a detailed plan. Supporters around my campaign held me accountable. And I reached several “PR’s” like being featured in Buzzfeed, Money Under 30, and breaking my goal of $3,000 in less than 29 days.

#NicheTip: Mastery driven motivation works. Find a workout routine that will get you excited to achieve new levels of fitness.

2. Momentum

When I lose interest in working out and my routine becomes boring (like it does several times in the winter) I become lazy, unmotivated and procrastination settles in for my personal life.

Within two weeks, Endorphin’s coaches helped me find my one rep max for various lifts like back squat, bench press, and deadlift. Once I had my strength training plan and started seeing progress, I was hooked. I had momentum and enthusiasm to keep to a regular routine this summer. My days consisted of waking up early and putting in almost two hours of work before I left for my full time job. Then, after working a full day, I went straight to Endorphin at 5:15 where crossfit gave me a boost to come home and eat a healthy meal with Courtney and spend the evenings working on The Niche Movement.

#NicheTip: Ya know the commercial that says, “a body in motion, stays in motion”? It’s true. Try not to leave too much time between leaving work and going to the gym. It’s during that lag time that we find other things we need to do and talk ourselves out of working out that day.

3. Clarity

Outside of physical benefits, crossfit has made me more energized, reduced stress and provide much needed clarity for my mind. When I go to crossfit, Bonnie and Ian (the founders of Endorphin), always reiterate to focus on every part of your body throughout your reps. I love this because every rep and WOD has me completely in the moment. There certainly have been ups and downs over the last 90 days of this adventure trying to launch my business full time but when I am at crossfit my mind and body are in the present. I have never thought about my full time job, The Niche Movement, what’s for dinner or other issues in my life.

Anyone that does crossfit, knows how much energy you put into every WOD. Even though I leave there wiped after every class, my head has been completely clear and ready to attack the next item on my to-do list.

#Nichetip: The mind needs breaks in the workday, and just in the day in general, to reset. When you workout you only have room to focus on the workout and can’t let your mind run about your to-do lists. A clear head is a much more creative and powerful head than one that is constantly running.

During the last two months, I have been very lucky to find a box that cares about personal development, proper weight lifting technique and building a community. Lately, I have pushed myself in ways I never thought I could and crossfit has certainly helped achieve some amazing personal goals both in the gym and with The Niche Movement.

How To Get A (Strong) Recommendation on Linkedin

A few weeks back, I received a request from a former employee asking for a Linkedin in recommendation. Read the note below and I’ll share why this wasn’t the best approach and 3 tips on how to get a strong detailed recommendation.

This person was right about one thing, future employers will be looking at his LinkedIn page and recommendations will definitely help. In fact, 89% of all recruiters report having hired someone through LinkedIn. That being said, the approach this person used to obtain the recommendation lacked effort and intentionality. This was coming from a former employee whom I hadn’t spoken to in years and when they did work for me they were part of a much bigger team where I did not have the opportunity to directly supervise them. There wasn’t much of a connection to begin with, and so a note a few years later randomly asking for a recommendation was not motivating at all.

No matter if you needed recommendations for school or for a job, we all know how important a powerful recommendation can be for your future. That phrase, “it’s not what you know, but who you know” is far too common in today’s workforce. It’s important now, more than ever, in a time of limitless social connection, to use the tools (online and face-to-face) available to you to build your network before you need it.

A majority of employers still require you to provide a list references at some stage in the hiring cycle. Many times, as early as when you hit the “apply” button. When it comes to building your reference list or asking for a recommendation, consider these questions first and foremost.

• Who are the 5 most recent connections (former supervisors, colleagues, employees) that can speak to my strengths as an employee and my work ethic?

• When was the last time I spoke to them about my desired career path, and do they know I am currently applying to jobs?

• Is there anything I can do to help make their life easier when it comes to serving as my reference?  (ie. send them your resume, hop on a call to discuss the job, etc)

Often times, college students and young professionals ask for a recommendation from someone that did not directly supervise them and those individuals are unable to cite detailed examples of their work ethic.

If you have a reference in mind and believe they can speak strongly about your work ethic and skills, and you have prepared them with materials or information about the job, then you’re ready for the next step. Now you are fully prepared to ask for that recommendation, and here is how to do it.

1. Do the work

As I mentioned above, prepare some materials for your recommender. Make sure they have information about the job you are applying for and an updated resume. You might want to also jog their memory of a few key projects you worked on with them that can be referenced in the recommendation. Don’t be too pushy, you’ll need to find a balance between providing adequate information and not writing the recommendation for them. The best way to avoid a mishap here is by simply putting yourself in their shoes.

2. Stay in Touch

In 2014, there is no longer an excuse for not staying in touch. Avoid asking for a recommendation from someone who you haven’t (at least loosely) kept in touch with in over a year. Most likely they will not remember the specifics of what made you a great employee or colleague, and they will be unsure of your career path and recent accomplishments. Essentially they won’t be able to speak to what makes you the best candidate for the job. The chances of getting loose connections, those you haven’t spoken to in over a year, to give you a recommendation at all is slim….let alone getting a strong recommendation.

3.   Post it Forward

Find your current supervisors, colleagues, and employees on LinkedIn and start writing a genuine recommendations for them. The more timely the better. Especially, after completing a big project, initiating a new venture, or a hitting a major goal for the organization.

The recommendation below was written by a current student that works for my social media team at Rutgers and will be a senior this year.

She is building her network before she needs it, keeping in touch with them, and providing real-time recommendations. In turn, she has immediately landed herself a handful of detailed and powerful recommendations from not only myself but from other well-connected professionals.

The job you love is out there for the taking, but lackluster recommendations are not going to get you there. ‘You get what you put into it’ is a concept that applies to the job search just as much as it does to any other experiences in life.

The Niche Movement is an organization founded on the principle to end employment unhappiness, and this is one of wide range of topics and ideas we share with young people to help them find the career path they will love. If you found this article helpful, you can support The Niche Movement and our ability to continue to do this work, by checking out our Kickstarter campaign. Donating to the campaign will score you our first book that will be chock full of tips and stories just like the ones featured in this article.

Adventure Awaits: Leaving Your Hometown Circle

Your hometown circle could be keeping your options limited in terms of careers. If you’re willing and have the opportunity, however, going a little further might be an option to consider. A week after graduating, I packed up my car and drove for 14 hours away from home for a summer internship. I’ve been to other parts of the country for vacations but that’s about it.  My family lived in the same town for generations, and I went to a college 15 minutes away.  On top of that my mother worked there, so basically, everything I ever needed was in (or around) my hometown. At least I thought that.

Some people after graduating from an in-state school want to find a job in their hometown or somewhere around the area.  They make calculations on how far they would drive when applying for jobs and internships.  I understand there are obligations and reasons behind why staying put is the perfect option for you, however, if you have the opportunity, a sense of adventure, and a game plan, then it’s time to go.

Here are a few reasons to consider flying around the country:

Better Networking:

The hometown circle includes your friends and family and basically everyone you went to high school/college with.  Seeing familiar faces around town, even if you don’t talk to them, is a comfort whether you realize it or not.  Leaving that comfort is hard, but a great opportunity to learn how to network all over again.  Once you find yourself somewhere where everyone is a stranger, you can’t lean on acquaintances anymore. Having a network that spans the country can’t hurt either. (I totally have that!)

You Have Time For It:

Advisors and faculty that I became close with in college always told me, “This is the only time in your life you will ever be able to do this.” They were, of course, talking about traveling. It might not be your only time, necessarily, but early on in the job search certainly is a great time!  If you don’t have a full time job yet, or are looking for that first job, why not experience it somewhere else while you can. Travel cross-country on a bus, find a sublet for the summer and have an internship in a state you didn’t expect. (Hint:  some internship programs provide housing, you just have to look!)

Your Friends Are Doing It:

Peer pressure is bad right? Well thinking in terms of getting older, graduating, internship hunting….in all reality, your friends might not be staying close to home either.  In my close knit group of friends who graduated, myself and one other traveled more than 2 states away for an internship and a full time job, both to culturally different areas than what we were accustomed to.  Another has a yearly rotational job which sends him to a different area every year, one has been working in a big city, and one who is moving to Madrid for a year! Adventure:  we have found it.

After this internship is over, I am yet again traveling another couple of states away from my home town (this time in the opposite direction) for graduate school.  All of this moving around has made me more aware of how things work in different parts of the country (maybe one day I’ll be able to say the world?) and along with that, a better candidate for jobs that may come in the future. I didn't know I needed this experience before I got here and I'm so glad I took a risk.

For some people, a hometown job within your “circle” may be perfect. I know for me it would be.  Your first job might not be in your perfect location, but your definition of perfect can change.  Who knows, you might even find your new hometown.

And whether it be for work, family, friends, or just to visit if you’ve left for good, you can always go back home.

The Power of Perspective: How Shopping for a Mattress Changed Me

 

I learned something the other day.

I didn’t learn an interesting fact about another country or how to work some new software program. I learned something about myself, about my job, about my future; it wasn’t life changing but it was important…and that’s what matters. I learned about the power of perspective.

You see, I spent the larger portion of one afternoon at work, not answering phones or responding to inquiries or managing a guest list like usual, but doing research on a mattress. Where was it cheapest? Who had it in stock? What was a comparable mattress to the one we wanted? Do they offer free delivery? Pillowtop or firm?

It was exhausting, annoying and tedious. Not to mention, it wasn’t exactly a cheap mattress and since my employer was supplying this mattress to a white collar employee, it was frustrating, given my current pay grade…

I digress.

After hours of searching and contacting random salespeople at mattress factories and outlets in my state – a surprising amount, actually – we finally made the purchase (got it on the cheap, too!) and scheduled the delivery.

“This is not what I went to college for!” I thought, angrily. It was task work – monotonous and lacked autonomy – and I wanted nothing to do with it. I was unhappy. Dissatisfied. Done. But I did what was asked of me with a smile on my face while I died a little inside with every phone call and “View the Collection!” click. I was ready to go home and complain about how irritated I was with this chore.

Upon leaving, though, I felt no sense of anger, no frustration. Sure, I didn’t go to college to end up purchasing mattresses for my boss’s boss’s whoever. Sure it was a pain in the ass and sure it wasn’t exactly in my job description. There’s the “other duties as assigned.” Thanks, HR. But I got the job done and after I was able to look at it from a different perspective, I realized that from this task alone, I gained a lot of hands-on work experience and helped many people in the process. I learned some skills that could be applied in many other ways at work and in my personal life. Who knew?

The power of perspective allowed me to understand that this task wasn’t about ordering a mattress, it was about learning key life lessons:

The Early Bird Gets the Worm

I contacted tons of salespeople regarding this mattress. In some cases, I got representatives from the company who directed me to another representative, in some cases I got directed to another store, and in some cases, I heard no response. In one case, however, I received an immediate email response from an actual representative. Throughout the afternoon, as I asked question after question, she responded promptly and in full. Ultimately, we purchased the mattress from her. She provided answers, fast…and that was just what we needed.

Lesson Learned: If you have the time, take the time. If you don’t have the time, make the time.  You’ll see results. This doesn’t mean that rushing is the answer. Crafting the perfect cover letter takes time but missing a deadline eliminates your chance at getting noticed. Also, stay connected in your field, network with thought leaders and people in important roles. Sometime down the road they may launch a new project and request your help as a reliable, prompt colleague.

Customer Service is Key

When I called one company, the phone directory prompted me to press 7 for the bed and bath department. The representative who answered, however, was not in this department and forwarded my call to what he thought would be the mattress department. I was greeted by a woman whose accent was hardly understandable and ultimately asked me to “check online.” This was a complete turn off as a customer. The woman from whom we purchased the mattress never once sent me a copied/pasted email. She was prompt, friendly, and informative. The originality was refreshing.

Lesson Learned: People want a personalized experience, not a computer-generated message. As it pertains to your job search, don’t copy and paste the same cover letter over and over again while simply swapping out a few words. When you’re pitching an idea at work or applying for a job, your audience – be it a recruiter, coworker, boss – are your customers. You are selling them something and they deserve a meaningful, efficient experience.

Research Leads to Success

If our office purchased the first mattress I found in the collection and style we wanted, it would have cost us nearly $1,500 more than what we spent for the same thing. After researching, though, I was able to find similar mattresses, similar brands, and lower prices.

Lesson Learned: The internet is a beautiful, beautiful thing! Research changes the game. You’ll never know what’s really out there unless you do the research. If you think you’re an expert, look harder. Limiting your job search to job boards and google searches is unacceptable with today’s technology. There are blogs, forums, all kinds of online communities and networks available as resources for your job search. Knock down some doors, find out who the real gatekeepers are for a job and company that gives your life purpose. Find a contact, find an email and get going.

Assistants are Assets

Ordering a mattress is something my bosses cannot be bothered with. They have so much on their plates…and then some! As their assistant, it is my duty to make their lives easier, even when it means typing “mattress companies in my town” into Google. At the end of the day, I am paid to assist in whatever they need and I know that by completing this task, they are able to check one thing off of their to-do lists and I know they appreciate that help.

Lesson Learned: Assistants make the world go round! Leaders: appreciate your assistants and show it. Assistants: reassure your leaders you are there for them, no matter what, by doing an excellent job. Remember, being an assistant isn’t something to be ashamed of. We all have to start somewhere. Assistants, because of their in-depth involvement with leaders, their schedules and their contacts, often have the upper hand when climbing the organizational ladder. If your search isn’t going as planned, consider taking on an assistant role for a company you respect, as it will be a foot in the door and a chance to network with key contacts.

By taking a different perspective on a menial task, I was able to shift my attitude from “screw this” to something that was a benefit for me: “my job is important.” That’s the power of perspective, ladies and gentlemen. Plenty of articles out there bash millennials, the economy, the job market. So it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Take on a different perspective than these articles; take on a perspective that enhances positivity, hope and determination.