See What Sticks: Invisible and Invincible

One of my favorite episodes of Matt Groening's Futurama features the arrogant robot Bender as the "God" figure to a colony of settlers. In a twist near the end of the episode, he gets to meet the show's approximation of God, who gives Bender some sage advice:

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

David Zweig's Invisibles:The Power of Anonymous Work in an Age of Relentless Self-Promotion carries the banner of "God"'s proclamation, sharing the triumphs and benefits of those who work under the radar. 'Invisibles' is his term for people who fly under the radar, who quietly make things happen, and who typically are only noticed if something goes wrong. Zweig talks to structural engineers, cinematographers, music technicians, and UN interpreters; he distills their defining characteristics down to three:

1. Invisibles are ambivalent to recognition. Their satisfaction is derived not from audible gratitude, but a deep intrinsic appreciation for their work.
2. Meticulousness. Invisibles immerse themselves so deeply in their work, others' observations mean little or are scarcely noticed.
3. Savoring of responsibility. The Invisibles featured in the book do very important work, the kind of work that makes significant impact on lives; they don't shy away from this burden. Their significance to the overall effort is reveled in and appreciated, but not for its own sake.

But the book does not strive to malign those for whom 'invisibility' is not a natural state. Rather, it discusses the benefits that such a mindset can afford those of us who work with Invisibles, while also providing advice for those who may aspire to incorporate some of these traits into our daily lives. Some of the best tips I gained from the book can also be vital for new professionals, those seeking employment, and anyone looking to strengthen their standing in a work environment.

Concentrate on the product, and let your work promote you. Zweig highlights the increase of personal pronouns (I, me), as well as the influx of professionals that exist solely to help people develop "personal brands" and social media imprints that reduce online interaction to constant image development and curation. While Zweig and other researchers see some elements of this as normal, they generally agree that we have reached an extreme as a society. Their alternative: concentrate on doing the work, and the work will promote you. The book cites the late David Foster Wallace as an example of an artist whose work essentially promoted itself; he became a critical success by doing little more than concentrating on the very thing that made him worth knowing- his writing.

Especially when we're young, or new to a field, we are quick to want to establish ourselves, and we can sometimes equate that with trumpeting our accomplishments. Zweig argues, we shouldn't have to shout our accomplishments so loudly. Truly significant accomplishments will announce themselves; further, invisibles will find fulfillment in their work whether that trumpet is sounded or not.

Identify your goal and who can help you achieve it. The cinematographer Robert Elswit is profiled in one chapter of the book, and we learn about his meticulous process of lighting scenes in award winning films. Elswit is unlike other invisibles profiled in the book in that he has received awards for his work, but that's far from his motivation for doing painstakingly detailed work. Although others may see his work as purely technical, he sees it as a way to make the story resonate with the viewer- the same motivation that drives actors and directors.

But despite his standing as an award-winning craftsman, he sees himself as part of a larger team. His commitment to working collaboratively to fulfill a vision is something that so many of us forget when we're overwhelmed, overworked, and frustrated that our hard work isn't being recognized. Seeing your work for what it is- a part of a multifaceted whole- can provide perspective and encourage you to look deeper than the accolades to appreciate what you truly love about the work itself.

Get comfortable executing someone else's vision first. This particularly tip is directed toward those starting out in a job or field. We are accustomed to seeing the inspirational quote "Start building your dreams, before someone else hires you to build theirs." However, we won't yet be truly ready to work meticulously, a key part of invisible work, unless we put the time, energy, and dedication in to getting good at a craft we could eventually pursue in a leadership role. In a later chapter, Zweig talks about the literal perils of cell tower climbers who were promoted to leadership positions without sufficient training or time in a hands-on role; one person he interviewed was gravely injured as a result of it.

Don't rush the magic of your career. There will be time in your work history to revel in the sunlight of recognition, or to truly be proud of the work you do. But that pride and reverence start with hard work and dedication to developing a high level of competence at a craft. The successful invisible has taken that time, and quietly but skillfully excels.

Make no mistake, Zweig does not advocate for working in thankless jobs. If you truly feel overworked and underappreciated, this is a problem that you can seek to rectify. His goal, instead, is to highlight a class of people who may not always seek out external praise or gratification. If you work with these people, your appreciation of their work is more than enough; and if you are this person, know that you can set a great example for coworkers old and new. Invisibles are an easy-to-overlook population in our offices, schools, and the like. Believe us, you'll notice if their work isn't perfect. But if it is done right...you won't be sure they've done anything at all.

Giving Yourself Credit Where Credit is Due

I have become an expert at down-playing compliments whenever they are given to me.  I act like with all of my achievements as if they were just "things that came really easily to me" (even when I worked my butt off).  I'm a frequent user of phrases such as: "Oh, it was no big deal" or "Anyone can do it". I guess I always thought and was taught that, people like people who are modest and humble.  And I like being liked.  Boasting about your accomplishments is obnoxious and selfish.  Self-promotion is embarrassing and pushes people away.  Accepting a compliment when a compliment is given to you is just plain self righteous.  Ew.

But then...

I had an enlightening conversation with a friend the other day over lunch about how often we down play our accomplishments.

(It was eye-opening to realize that I was not the only one who did this, and even more eye-opening when I realized what a habit it had become.  And it was detrimental.)  

Many of us do this.  Is it because I'm a young professional?  A woman?  A human?  Because being boastful is an unattractive quality?  I do not have an answer as to why, but what I do know is that I must stop falling into the habit of responding to every compliment with, "It wasn't really that big of a deal" or "Anyone can do it" and start responding with a simple, "Thank you".

Why is it so hard?  Thanking someone for their compliment, for noticing your hard work, is something that you owe yourself. What is your self-talk like if you cannot accept someones kind words?  Negative.  

Saying thank you for a job-well-done is the least you can do to treat yourself with the love and respect that you deserve.

Giving yourself credit where credit is due is part of chasing your dreams. If we cannot sell ourselves well, how will we ever get where we want to be?  This means even past the interview.  (Even I can put on my "I'm awesome-face" and rock an interview.  But after the interview?  I'm back to disregarding compliments and stop believing in the awesomeness that I sold them on.)  I'm working on this personally and I challenge you to do the same.  Notice your reaction the next time someone pats you on the back for a job well done.  Allow yourself to feel proud.  You are awesome.  Stand tall, and say "thank you".

Now, by no means am I saying that you should scare away all of your friends by shouting from the rooftops about how wonderful you are.

But learning to accept a compliment when someone tells you that they appreciated your hard work, is good for not only your relationship with that person, but even more so, your relationship with yourself.

Your very, awesome, self.

Ask Yourself These 3 Questions Before You Apply To Your Next Job

During the month of September, I had the opportunity to connect with several young professionals (from our Niche List subscribers to college students) and pass along valuable career advice that I have found myself consistently sharing over the last two years. Before I share a few pieces of this advice, I'd like to spend 60 seconds highlighting the last two years of this amazing journey. Side note: I mention two years, because today is a BIG DAY - it is the The Niche Movement's two year anniversary!

Not only are we celebrating our two year anniversary, but I recently left my full time job at Rutgers University and 8 year stint working in student affairs to pursue and build out the The Niche Movement and my digital storytelling business full time, while my wife and I move to the DC area later this month. I am so excited to see this passion project turn into a true community to help others find the work they love.

Here are a few highlights and wins:

• To date, we have 15 talented contributing editors sharing their journey since college and on-going career advice to help others navigate this thing we called the "real-world."
• This summer, we were featured on Buzzfeed, Money Under 30, Gen Twenty, and had several other press opportunities.
• After launching our Kickstarter campaign, we were overwhelmed by the 80+ contributors that helped us exceed our funding goal to write our first book The Niche Movement: New Rules to Finding the Career Path You Love. (anticipated release January 2015)
• We have delivered workshops and keynotes to schools and organizations all over including Steven's Tech, University of Illinois - American Disabilities Association, and The Jersey Alliance to name a few.
• I have personally worked with students from all over the United States and as far as the University of Calgary to the University of Puerto Rico.
• Back in February of this year, I delivered my first TEDx talk, Skip Your Career Fair, that has had more than 1,500 views.
• In later summer of 2014, we launched the Niche List, a curated weekly email of jobs and career advice for 20-somethings.

Now, onto the career advice and questions that everyone should be asking themselves.

The job search is a lonely process. If you think about it, 99% of the time you are by yourself, behind a screen (generally, late at night), scrolling through job postings, one after another. Then, when you do stumble upon a posting you love and qualified for, you spend more time and energy crafting a perfect cover letter, updating your resume and more often than not, filling out an applicant tracking system. The cycle goes on and on and when you immerse yourself back into society the next day and see your friends and family you get one of these questions "How is your job search going?" or "Did you find a job yet?".  This repetitive cycle will wear down the best of us and all of the sudden a really talented young professional will start to second guess their skills, potential and calling in life.

However, before you get to this point or before you hit send on your next job application, take a few steps back and ask yourself these three questions:

Tip: The more time and thought you put into these questions, the better your outcome. 

1. What are three things you would do for free?

I like to pose this question to everyone I start to work with both in one on one settings and during my speaking engagements. This is such a powerful question and requires a lot of thought, but once you start identifying a few things you love so much that you don't care about the money, you can start drilling down into specific work industries, companies, and jobs - instead of just casting a wide-net in your job search. I would also recommend that if you are so passionate about something and the job you desire isn't out there, then create it yourself. We are living in a world of limitless connection and unlimited resources at your finger tips that you can turn a passion project into a business in no time. Just note, it requires a ton of hustle, self-esteem, and perseverance.

2. What do people around you say you are really good at?

I love this question and believe that every college student should continually ask this question starting in their junior year. Any chance you have, ask your professors, supervisors, advisors, best friends, family, etc. "What do you think our my strengths?" or "What skill am I really good at?".

3. What is something you have done in the last 6-12 months that has made you feel invincible?

A student of mine shared this question with me during our 6 week Niche Discovery cohort we ran last spring and I have asked myself this question just about once a month since hearing it. It is from Scott Dinsmore's Live Your Legend site and it is so powerful. When you find something that makes you feel invincible, you will stop at nothing to achieve it. If you are applying for (or already working for) a job at a company or in an industry you are not passionate about, you are not going to have a "do whatever it takes" mentality.

No matter what stage of your career you are in, you should constantly self-evaluate by asking these questions. I'd love to hear your responses to any or all of these questions so comment below or shoot me an email at kevin@thenichemovement.com.

The Secret Trick to Confidence: A Good Pair of Heels, Yoga and Billy Joel

By definition from the Miriam-Webster dictionary confidence sounds like a great word, but what is it? How does one achieve confidence and continue to be confident in their job search or their career?

These are questions I asked myself for a very long time. Confidence, to gain confidence and to continue to be confident takes time, patience and practice.

¹con·fi·dence

noun \ˈkän-fə-dən(t)s, -ˌden(t)s\

: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something

: a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something

: the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true

It's Still Rock and Roll to Me

I was inspired on August 7, 2014. Not only was I in the audience of a sold out concert of a legend, but my wheels were turning and I knew I had to blog about it. The concert I am talking about is Billy Joel. The evening started off with Gavin DeGraw opening for Billy and getting the audience pumped up. It might have been the vibe of the audience or the music in general, but Gavin DeGraw spoke about an experience he had that I left the show saying to myself, WOW he has confidence! Gavin spoke about being a young kid, early teen years seeing Billy Joel for the first time and after the show telling his father that he wants to be like Billy Joel one day. His father’s response was spot on and his father said, you will be some day. Now years later Gavin is sharing this story as he himself is cheering on the legend from backstage.

Then, Billy came on, and throughout the show he said 3-4 times "THIS IS THE BEST JOB" while hitting a few piano keys, but for Billy Joel you can tell his career is more than a job, it is a passion he has and continues to share with the world and what got him to where he is today….confidence!

How do you gain confidence? And how does Billy Joel and Gavin DeGraw fit into this post. Well, they can be looked at as roles models, mentors and well they both are successful in their own ways and they got to where they are with confidence- it is a given that a musicians life isn’t that glamorous and they have struggled just like the rest of us but they both have kept their confidence and to hear Billy Joel say several times I LOVE MY JOB, it made me want to scream it back at him.

A VERY girly comment.. but it's what works...

My confidence starts with a pair of heels and a great pair of earrings. Sounds silly when I think about it, but I have these heels that when I put them on I feel unstoppable. My earrings are my accessory, I love earrings and when I look in the mirror and admire the set I am wearing that day I know I can take on the world. I recently read an article on Forbes.com about Increasing Your Confidence. The article listed 4 great insights on how to be your confident self every day, such as:

Prepare Early, Deeply and Often- the more you prepare yourself for any task the more confident you are.

Commit to Continual Skills Development – always look for new ways to learn new skills and gain new knowledge, the world is evolving, evolve with it.

Mentally Rehearse Being Confident Daily – give yourself positive reinforcement daily, you’ll see a change in your confidence in just 1 week.

Stay Fit – staying fit helps you feel confident both mentally and physically.

Just a little sweat

"The truth is, life is our canvas – so we must make living our art. And this is our journey and our journey alone. It is our path and no-one else’s and as such we must have the confidence to embrace the experiences that shape us and faith in a plan fit for just the right purpose; ours."

-Katherine Smith

Staying fit was a great take away for me as I am lover of hot yoga and exercise in general. My journey into hot yoga began in January when I joined a worldwide community of girls and women of all ages who wanted to create a healthy lifestyle for themselves. This journey is Tone It Up. Since I started my change to a healthier lifestyle I have spoken with, been motivated by and inspired to workout daily and try to new things. My new thing became hot yoga and every class I continue to learn something new. The relaxation, the learning how to control your breath and the accomplishment plus a little sweat.. well a lot of sweat by the end of the class gives me that extra boost of confidence to be the best I can be. Yoga allows me to break out of my comfort zone, create a space around me that clears my mind of all stress and what the day entailed and just to start new. It allows me to be confident within and I know it shows without. Check out a great article about yoga and confidence here.

• Let’s continue this discussion on confidence as we all can learn from each other.

What gives you confidence?

See What Sticks: Recovering from Perfectionism

Hi everyone, Amma Marfo here. Two quick things about me that you’ll need to know before we begin: (1) I am a reader. I am a library-loving, constant tome-carrying, unapologetic bibliophile. (2) If there’s anyone you will meet who can connect what she’s reading to the world around her, it’s me. As such, I want to dedicate my time in this space to sharing with you what I’m reading, and how it could inform a budding professional’s daily life.

Starting this post with yet another confession shouted out into the void: I am a recovering perfectionist. It's easy to see how we come to the notion that perfection is the only acceptable option; we're graded for sixteen years of our lives with the goal of getting 100%, we wear braces to fix the flaws in our smiles, and are bombarded with images of what we could be doing better. I bought into that for a long time (and, as the title implies, still do at times). But a few years back, I took a long hard look at the life I was leading because of it; it was a stress-riddled, anxiety-driven, hard to enjoy mess. So when I read Elizabeth Grace Saunders' "Letting Go of Perfectionism," an essay from 99U's Manage Your Day to Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus & Sharpen Your Creative Mind, it sang to me a little louder than several of the essays around it.

She defines perfectionism in her piece, but I'd prefer to share the work conditions under which a perfectionist works with you; if this sounds like you, you may want to consider reading on:

From a perfectionist's point of view, if you manage to force yourself into producing at the level you envisioned in your head, you feel on top of the world. If you can't measure up to those standards, you're crushed [...] At best, it can make you hesitate to immerse yourself in a new project. At worst, it can lead to you abandoning your creative pursuits because of the toll they take on you physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Does this sound like you? If so, you're in good and plentiful company. And as I continue to take my own recovery one day at a time, I found myself really appreciating Saunders' approach for managing the fear and pride that she believes are the root of all aspirations toward perfectionism. That creeping pair of emotions can attack at any stage of our work, but she gives great advice on how to thoughtfully fight back.

Stuck at the Start According to Saunders, the perfectionist gets stuck at the start because of a mindset that shouts, "I can't start until the ideal moment, meaning I have a large uninterrupted block of time, no other distractions, a strong level of motivation to work on the project, and the ideal plan for how to optimize the entire process." I'll grant, these are not altogether impossible conditions to reach in unison. However...it seems pretty unlikely, doesn't it?

This can be true of any pursuit that inherently holds uncertainty: applying for a job ("I don't know how to do all the things they're asking, should I go for it?"), leaving a job you don't like ("I don't have the perfect opportunity lined up yet, so I should probably stay put."), or asking for a new challenge ("I've never done this before, am I sure I'm ready?"). The paralysis of being presented with ideal conditions kills more dreams than actual criticism from those that surround us.

Saunders encourages the recovering perfectionist to replace the statement above with "I know there will never be an ideal time to begin so I set aside time to get started on one part of the process [...] I get started on what I can do now." The storied Google 80/20 rule (in which employees were given freedom to use 20% of their time at work just to create and design based on their own ideas and inclinations, is an example of the value of scheduled ideation time.

It can also be helpful to remember that ideas don't come out fully formed. Taking some of that time to determine what you already have to be successful and what you still need can help you fight the perfectionism. Identifying "known unknowns" helps us focus time appropriately and direct efforts toward elements of our process that could be better. Between setting aside time and acknowledging points of weakness with the goal of improvement (that "goal of improvement" piece is what prevents despondence), we can break the cycle of giving up on something that lacks perfect conditions.

Lost in the Middle

Saunders voices this worry in this way: "I must obsess over every detail of the piece, regardless of whether anyone else will notice. This leads me to revise and edit myself at every step instead of giving myself permission to bang out an imperfect first draft." When I was working on my book, I spent a long time avoiding a complete first draft. I wrote in disconnected tidbits, I researched obsessively, I strung together those shorter passages into chapters, and then finally put them together consecutively to create a 140 page first draft...that I was terrified to read. I had no idea if this version of the final product would make sense, or even be good or helpful to anyone who read it. But sometimes we forget that first drafts are designed for precisely that.

One of my favorite writers, Paul Jarvis, is a tremendous advocate for "sharing your messy process," or shying away from the instinct we all have to hide when something isn't going perfectly. He believes that people appreciate final products more when they know what went into making it. Share your messy process with people you trust to be honest with you- close coworkers, family members, or even friends that have no idea what you do- their uninformed opinion can be the most valuable when you're deep in the weeds on a project. It's scary at times, but the freedom it affords you to work toward a better final product is invaluable. Paul shares his ugly process often, as does Austin Kleon, a writer I've written about here previously. Follow them for great examples of what other messy processes entail; it can be comforting to know that even successful people struggle!

Refusal to Finish

"If the work hasn't attained the ideal set in my head at the start, it's inaccurate to say it's complete." We all have goals in our minds that occasionally, if often, fail to live up to the final product that our hands, voices, or other contributing parties have created. This can be demoralizing for some, pushing them to keep working without "shipping," writer and consultant Seth Godin's term for releasing a final product to the public.

But squirreling away our talent for fear it won't meet our high standards ignores the needs of those who could benefit from it. You could be a great fit for a proposed job, but not applying for a lack of a "perfect fit" could leave them with someone far less effective. Perfect is the enemy of great. And being prepared to ship doesn't mean that you can't go back to the project at a later date; Saunders is quick to point out, "Saying something is complete doesn't mean that it can't be improved upon or elaborated on in the future. It just means that I can submit it and move on to other work." Other projects that require your greatness could suffer for your lack of attention to them; don't let a goal of perfection on one task hinder your effectiveness on others.

Dread of Feedback

So you've made it through all the other steps prior to this, and found yourself (mostly) comfortable with delivering a less than perfect product. Congratulations! That's a task in itself that you should be commended for. How do you handle any feedback that you get from it? By this, I mean "constructive criticism" that may come from a coworker, mentor, headhunter, or other person overseeing your work. The perfectionist struggles to incorporate this additional information, seeing it not as an assessment of their work, but of them. Saunders voices this worry well: "I worry that my expertise and respect is in question and that others will think I'm incompetent and an impostor." 

Consider, instead, this counterpoint: "I appreciate feedback because it helps me to test and refine my work." A colleague of mine, speaker and consultant Winni Paul, feels that feedback is a gift. As she puts it, "Accepting feedback is about looking beyond your own reality and seeing a bigger picture." Unless you're in a performance review (whole other scenario that I won't address here), the product being critiqued is not you; accept any ideas for change accordingly. See feedback as a question or concern voiced that a consumer of your product or idea won't present to you as nicely, and find ways to address the concern if you find it valid; acknowledge it gracefully if you don't. Practical gifts are designed to make your life easier and you better; think of feedback as a practical gift from someone with your best interests in mind.

As with any addiction or bad habit, it can take a lot of time and practice to unlearn the rituals that brought you to your perfectionist state. But abandoning perfectionist inclinations for your "realistic best" unlocks possibilities to be more efficient and less anxious when pursuing opportunities. I encourage you to challenge the perfectionist tendencies you've cultivated for so many years; you'll be surprised how good "just being great" can feel.