Day 15 - How to Make the Most Your Days

This past weekend I spent time away with my parents and Courtney in Lake George, NY. Other than an occasional Instagram post, I completely shut off – it was much needed and helped me focus and clarify where I am going with The Niche Movement. With that said, as I spent time with my parents, I continue to observe the importance of having really great family around you. Like I mentioned in a few of my previous posts, I am an only child, but was lucky to be surrounded by several great cousins that treated me like their little brother. One of them I am introducing into the "How I Found My Niche" series is my cousin Jennifer O’Connell Caputo.

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As the youngest cousin, I always looked up to Jen like a big sister. Jen was always a great athlete especially, in field hockey. I played a lot of sports growing up like , soccer and golf and I always tried to excel as much as possible since Jen became a star athlete in her high school and went onto to play field hockey at Rutgers University her first year of college.

Jen went on to graduate from Rutgers with a degree in psychology and landed a great job with a consulting company as a HR recruiter.  A few years later, I was in college and started to see Jen build a great future for herself. Her hard work and talent started to pay off and was promoted several times. She also met her husband Kevin at work and got married in August of 2003.

Believe it or not, the first (un)official date for Courtney and I was at Jen and Kevin’s wedding.

As I became more involved at FDU and started to build my “resume” to prepare myself for the real world, I was always able to turn to Jen for advice. Throughout my early twenties I turned to Jen for advice on jobs, interviewing, relationships, and family advice. Aside from Jen’s caring personality, one of her best skill sets that I admire most, is her ability to connect with anyone around her and start a conversation and keep it going.

As I have grown older, I still look up to Jen for several other reasons. She has a wonderful family - 7 year old twins, Joey & Addy.  She stays active by taking cross fit classes at 5:30 every morning and runs occasional GORUCK and mud runs. And she still works full time for the same company she started with after college. The reason I mention all of this is because I know Jen leads a busy life. However, the reason I look up to her today, is that she makes the most of her days. She makes time for her family, friends, and manages a hectic life of work and raising twins, all while having a successful career.

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When I look back, here are just a few ways Jen has always been there:

- supporting our fundraising efforts when I ran our first Habitat for Humanity trip in 2006.

- as a bridesmaid to Courtney in for our wedding in May 2010.

- to celebrate our house warming party in June 2010.

- to set up meetings with her company as Courtney and I launch our own projects in our careers.

- to throw some of the best family gathering and parties I've ever attended.

The last shoutout I have to mention is that Jen also organized a Hurricane Sandy Relief fund and raised thousands of dollars and collected 10,000+ toys in a matter of 4 weeks to donate to the community of Seaside Heights and the surrounding districts. All while taking care of her day to day responsibilities mentioned above.

She is truly an amazing person.

Thank you for everything Jen.

What they taught me:

As I get older, the time spent with family and close friends starts to become more precious and valued. Just like my cousin Jen, I am trying to live my life to the fullest and become successful while still making time for my family and friends that are near to Courtney and I. She has taught me that it is ok to be “busy” but when you are with your family (especially, parents) to shut off and be in the moment with them. It's something you will never get back, trust me.

How they inspired me:

Jen has inspired me (and Courtney) to set the bar high for yourself. Hard work does pay off but she has always instilled in me to have your work respected and receive what you are worth.

#Nichetip

The closer you get to finding your niche, the more your career may pull you away from what really matters - your friends and family. It is important that you make time for those around you and that when you are in the moment, to be present.

Day 13 - Taking Advantage of an Opportunity

I started at Rutgers in August 2008 and I thought I would be a small fish in a big pond. However, like I mentioned in my post yesterday, my boss Paul Fischbach did a great job of helping me network and meet co-workers outside of our department. Coincidentally, it also helped that Courtney started working in Student Life a month prior. I took every opportunity to grow my network and enhance my professional development by attending workshops and events to meet other student affairs colleagues.

A few months into my new job, I met Avani Rana who was in charge of the student leadership for Student Life. I had shared my leadership background and the initiatives I helped create at Centenary College and we quickly connected to see how I could help her out and represent our department. That spring semester Avani invited me to sit on the Rising Leaders committee and I was able to offer a module on communication during the 13-week program for first year students.

This was not only a great avenue to meet new students and represent the Recreation department, but this also fulfilled my desire to present and engage students in leadership. A year later, I remained on the Rising Leaders committee with other deans and student affairs colleagues and Avani recruited me to help out with their weekend retreat in January. Over the next few semesters I was given the opportunity to help with retreats, present workshops on group dynamics, communication, and public speaking.

Avani also planned a leadership conference every March and recruited me to present in 2009 and 2010. However, in 2010 I decided to invite one of our student leaders, Dana Wise, to co-present with me to give her practice speaking in front of her peers. We ran a workshop for other students leaders on group dynamics and being a leader even if you’re not in a leadership position.

Remember that post I wrote about attending my first NIRSA conference? Well, I stayed involved with NIRSA and became the State Director in 2011. As the representative for NIRSA I sat on various committees and helped plan the student lead-on for Region 1 at Syracuse University. Not only was this a “pay-it-forward” type of act, but I truly wanted to help students and connect them with the right professionals just like Jess Ward did for me. That’s how professional development works, you get involved as a new professional, start to carve out your niche, and then you help others find their niche.

Every year since I started at Rutgers, I had the pleasure of working with great students that were thriving in their roles with recreation, in student leadership, and NIRSA. There was something I started to observe. I started to notice that these great students were thriving in college and then after graduation, many of them struggled with being fulfilled and happy in their new post-graduation lives.

The conversations of “I think I chose the wrong major” and “I shouldn’t have decided to enroll in this masters program” or “I am bored with my job” was far too common. I would put the counselor/therapy hat back on and point them in the right direction.

Ultimately, it was these 3-4 years, that my calling to help students stand-out and give them “real-world” skills to succeed after graduation, started to become more and more important to my ‘why’ (why meaning, why I got up every morning). This was especially true when it came to pointing them in the direction to a more fulfilled life.

My initial conversations with Avani and ultimately that connection led to a realization that I could engage an audience of 50-100+ students. I was inching closer and closer to finding my niche.

What they taught me:

At the time I started at Rutgers, I was a bit nervous to be working at such a large institution. However, I learned how important outreach and exposure can be. Between the help of networking from my boss, Paul, and Avani continually inviting me to help out, I quickly established a name for myself based on my talents and skills.

How they inspire me:

The moments I have been able to run workshops, facilitate team buildings at retreats, and present to large groups has been invaluable to my work with the Niche Movement. Avani is one of many colleagues that valued the opportunity to give more people the chance to present and interact with other colleagues. This inspires me to ensure that I pay it forward and provide opportunities for young professionals to present to my students.

#Nichetip:

Early on in your career, take advantage of the committees or workgroups available for you to participate in, especially if you are passionate about it. At times it may feel like extra work, but in the long run it just may bring you closer to finding your niche.

Day 12 - Build Your Network Before You Need It

While working at Centenary College from 2006-2008 I worked hard to build a foundation to build a Recreation department rather than just the intramurals programming I was hired for. When I started, the college had a new gymnasium and recreation center under construction but vision was to offer open recreation, intramural programming, trips and special events. Outside of my colleagues, I needed some help.

After doing some research, I came across NIRSA (National Intramural Recreation Sports Association), the professional development and governing body of collegiate Recreation professionals. Luckily, in February of 2007, I discovered Rutgers University was hosting a NJ NIRSA State Workshop. I registered myself and five of our student employees and this was the start of my professional involvement in NIRSA. I met several colleagues like Diana Clauss from Rider, Jess Ward from Rutgers, and John Mazurri from Stevens Tech.

Less than a year later I attended the Region 1 conference in Ithaca, NY where I brought four of our student leaders who were really interested in going into campus recreation. We got up there early to attend the pre-conference Student Lead-On portion, and I had registered all of us for the mentor-mentee program. Even though I was a professional staff, I wanted a chance to meet some other colleagues so I was excited to participate as well. That afternoon I found out I was paired with Jess Ward, the Intramural Coordinator at Rutgers.

Jess’ welcoming personality and genuine effort to introduce me to other RU alumni that were now in the field and other intramural professionals up and down the east coast has been invaluable to my career. I decided at that conference to volunteer and join a committee to help carry out the 2008 state workshop at Rider University. I had a chance to work with Jess and some other great colleagues while presenting my first workshop. At this point, I was continuing to grow our programming at Centenary while growing my network.

A short time later, I reached out to Jess about an open position within Rutgers Recreation. I applied to the job in December of 2007 but didn’t hear anything until May 2008 when I was invited for an interview for the Special Events position. It turns out, after talking with Jess, she kept me in mind and helped get my resume to the top. Long story short, I interviewed and didn’t get the position. It was ok - I got some experience and got my foot in the door meeting more professionals.

I was sure to send thank you notes to everyone I met and a few months later, I was told there was an opening for Intramural Coordinator. It turns out this was Jess’s position as she was leaving to work at Princeton University. When she was leaving, she was asked if she knew of any candidates she would recommend and she brought my name up again to her boss Paul Fischbach.

That saying, “everything happens for a reason” may be a cliche, but I went on two interviews and landed a job in August 2008 at Rutgers Recreation as their Intramural Coordinator. I owe a sincere thanks to Jess Ward for always helping me out. I remember the day I accepted, my new boss Paul called me that Friday evening to welcome me aboard - a nice gesture I still think about today.

Paul has had an influential role in helping me find my niche as he shares the same values in student development. He always looked out for me and to this day he still introduces me to anyone he knows at Rutgers. Even though I was working as the Intramural Coordinator it was an avenue to facilitate student leadership, development and offer innovative programming to the university population. Paul gave me the opportunity to be hands-on and foster a community on the Livingston campus.

Taking this job and leap into a large public university and department has been one of the best transitions that set up the next few posts in my series.

How They Inspired Me:

In this new role at Rutgers, I was able to combine my passions of programming and development with my knowledge of leadership to facilitate a community where college students could learn real-world skills. Paul always said that we helped develop and bring students together and that recreation just got in the way.

What They Taught Me:

The one thing I learned from both Paul and Jess is to always have a caring and genuine personality and help be a connector.

#NicheTip:

Take advantage of mentor-mentee programs, and professional development opportunities. Rutgers University gets about 200-250 applicants per job opening in the student affairs division. If you don’t know someone it can be very difficult to get your foot in the door. That being said, don’t just network to network. My relationship with Jess wasn’t around getting some job, it was about learning how to build my program at Centenary bigger and better. Authenticity and integrity when connecting with others is critical.

Day 7 - The Ripple Effect: A Friend’s Journey Impacted Hundreds of Lives

On my day 1 post about Appreciating Your Parents, I mentioned that I am an only child. Several times growing up I was fortunate to have my cousins (Denise, Stacy, Kim, Jenny, Ricky, and Jason) treat me like their little brother. In turn, I looked to all of them like my older brothers and sisters. I even had Ricky and Jason in my wedding party, and Courtney and I turn to my cousin Jen for life advice all the time. It’s been great having my cousins around, but as we get older it is tough to stay in touch and see each other frequently.

That’s where one of my best friends, Russ Bloodgood, enters my “How I Found My Niche” series.

I look up to Russ like a brother. We have the same taste in beer and food, love golf, and we both have very big ambitions for our lives.[wc_row][wc_column size="one-half" position="first"]

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Just like my friend John, I met Russ through sports and we became great friends in high school playing on the golf team. We traveled to Wales together our senior year, have held the same group of friends since high school, and both hold masters degrees. We have something else in common as well and it’s very unique. See, Russ is always helping others, has very strong ties to his family, and is a very hard worker.

Throughout college - Russ at Villanova, myself at FDU - we would visit each other almost once a month and get our group of friends together every break. However, our junior year, Russ said he wouldn’t be home because he was going on a trip. This wasn’t just any trip - he was dedicating his break from school to travel to Las Vegas, New Mexico to volunteer with 14 other Nova students as part of Habitat for Humanity (yes, there’s a city named Las Vegas in New Mexico) .

When Russ returned, I could see he had grown, just like I did after my summer as an orientation leader.  He told me about the new group of friends he made, the big picture perspective he now had on life, and the difference he made in the community. I was hooked and had to learn more.

Returning to school that Fall semester I immediately asked around to see if there was a trip like this that existed or if a Habitat for Humanity club was established. At the time, I turned to Sarah Azavedo and Michelle Luff, FDU’s new Assistant Director of Student Life. I said to them “my buddy Russ went on this trip, he’s now leading another one and FDU needs something like this.”

It turns out, Russ has inspired and influenced me more than anyone knows (including him). He wound up going on 3 other trips and leading one as an alumni. However, Russ made a bigger impact: he inspired me to start an alternative breaks program at FDU where we went to Opelika, AL in ‘06 and Grand Rapids, MI in ‘07.

Russ indirectly changed at least 50 people’s lives.

At Centenary College, I volunteered to help out with their Hurricane Katrina Relief trips to NOLA in ‘07 and ‘08. I contributed a lot of what Russ shared with me on those trips.

Russ indirectly changed at least 250 people lives.

At Rutgers, I served as Habitat for Humanity’s staff advisor for a year and half and again shared several pieces of advice and knowledge that Russ passed down to me. This helped more than ever because they run four trips a year. In addition, they are also raising $100,000 to build and dedicate their own house to a family in Plainfield, NJ.

Again, Russ indirectly changed 50-100 Rutgers Habitat for Humanity members and is helping another family get into a house.

What they taught me:

At the time, while we were in college, it was comforting to see one of my best friends going on this journey of experiencing college “outside the classroom.” Overall, Russ has taught me to always lend a hand and help those who need it.

#NicheTip:

You never know how far your actions can travel and who they can influence.

Day 3 - Best Man or Better Man

“A lot of women grow up with the dream of getting married and having a child. I think Courtney hit the jackpot, because she is getting married to a child.”

This is the way John Giannone started out his best man speech at my wedding in May 2010. See, John is that guy who is a child at heart, will bring laughter to any room, and can hold a conversation with the best of them. And, he likes to give his closest friends and family a bunch of shit (I mean that in the nicest way possible).

John Giannone (the best man) is great with family members and new friends, and creating genuine conversations. Years later, he still remembers all of our FDU & Rutgers friends and he has the personality where he can join into any group setting.

John Giannone (the business man) is intellectual, hard working, and smarter than I’ll ever be. He’s great with numbers, contracts, and relationship building.

Believe it or not, John and I go all the way back before pre-school where we both attended the same reading hour at Franklin Library. However, our friendship didn’t start there. About 7 to 8 years later, I was put on the Cardinals (Coach B’s) little league team with John. At that point, we became teammates. We attended separate grammar schools and didn’t start becoming friends until freshman year of high school. We played soccer, basketball and baseball together, and started to hang out with the same group of guys who we still hang out with to this day (Russ, Garry, Dave, and Scott).

So, why am I writing about one of my best friends? Not to get all mushy here, but there are a lot of traits I admire about John and he also indirectly played a huge role in my starting of the Niche Movement.

I see John as having a perfect balance of book smarts and street smarts. He holds a Mechanical Engineering degree from Rutgers University where he was president of his fraternity (Phi Tau) and recently earn an MBA at NYU’s Stern Business School while working full time. At the same time, he can think quick on his feet to offer the perfect punch line to any joke. All his joking aside, he truly cares about the people around him and the people he meets.

So how did John help influence the Niche Movement?

He was lucky enough to meet an amazing woman two years ago, now girlfriend, Benee Williams (also a Scarlet Knight alum). Courtney and I now are lucky to call her one of our friends as well, but she’s more than that. In October 2012 after a Rutgers football game, we all came back to our house where we sat around a fire pit. Everyone was in some way complaining about money and their job unfortunately. At that point, I spoke up and said “I love my job and get to make a difference in young adult’s lives everyday.”

After continuing on and on while some of our friends still didn't get what I did, I explained how my passion lies in not only helping college students thrive while they are in school, but thrive in their twenties after graduation. I hated seeing talented, hard-working and deserving students lives come to a screeching halt after graduation. It could be a boss they hated, or a work environment that didn’t “click.” Maybe it was a side project they put off, or a graduate program that they weren’t in to. And they didn’t know what to do. They were stuck.

That is when Benee exclaimed, “Kevin, you’re trying to help them find their niche!” And that is when the light bulb went off. The next morning I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said as I wrote and brainstormed. That Sunday evening, I purchased the domain TheNicheMovement.com. The rest, as they say, is history.

How they inspired me:

You know that saying “Surround yourself with great people…” well I am lucky to have John and Benee as close friends. John is one of the very few that I will bounce ideas of off, accomplishments, or new ventures in this journey with the Niche Movement and he never questions it by saying things like “what if.” He always responds with “That’s awesome, man. Let me know how I can help.” That is how they inspire me. To know that I have a huge support system to dive into the unknown.

What they taught me:

To live in the moment, relax and have fun.

#Nichetip

An idea or project you are working on can come together when you least expect it. Don’t be afraid to share your passion with others around you, you never know who will help you go onto the the next step.

Oh, by the way, here is what you’ve all been waiting for: Intro to John’s best man speech