Day 14 - What Can Happen When People Believe in Your Vision

During my first few years, fellow student affairs colleagues described the feeling:  seeing your closet student leaders graduate college. I didn’t know what that felt like because I was only at Centenary just shy of two years. It wasn’t until May 2010 when that feeling hit when one of our student leaders Dana Wise graduated from Rutgers.  I would now describe it as joy, happiness, and even some sadness (especially when they don’t return in August).

Let me explain how I got to this moment:

When I started at Rutgers, one of my main initiatives was to create and expand the community out of the Livingston Recreation Center. Sure, it was easy to promote intramurals, recruit refs, and lead the 8-10 student directors that got paid to work for our department. The real challenge (even though it didn’t feel like it) was too create a volunteer advisory council. Week in and week out I observed the staff that worked in the building from front desk to fitness assistants to intramural officials to see what students would be the best to start this council. I slowly started observing a few students, Dana Wise, Carlos Correa, and Tara Curran to be exact, because they loved being around our recreation center (aka Livi Rec).

I started up conversations to find out more about them, slowly work in what I was trying to start and see if they would buy-in. The easiest sell was Dana because we found out we both grew up in the same part of NJ - in Sussex County. As weeks went on, Dana, Tara, and Carlos started to help me build this community even though they didn’t work directly for me. They saw my vision, they cared about the other students, and were ready to make a difference.

Late Tuesday night meetings turned into programming on the weekends for the Livingston community. Our most successful event was a 3 on 3 charity basketball tournament that raised hundreds of dollars for Rutgers Against Hunger. That’s where the real community was built and where Dana stepped up as a leader. Not only did we have 32+ basketball teams, we partnered with residence life, recruited and managed 20 volunteers, and she made sure all necessary sponsorships were secured.

Leading up to graduation, Dana was a psychology major and had established a very nice resume by building a set of leadership skills for herself and becoming president of our council. So much so, that she started to have reservations about “going into” the psychology field. Of course after some long conversations, some tears, and some confidence boosting, she decided to pursue a Graduate Assistantship and attended the NIRSA national conference in the spring of 2010.

Dana did everything she was supposed to do - had a strong resume, great GPA, dressed professionally, interviewed well, and had a personal touch. However, she came home empty handed - no assistantship and no admittance into a graduate program.

She did do something right - before she boarded the plane to the conference she struck up a conversation with someone wearing a Cornell sweatshirt. That person was headed to the conference and helped put her in touch with someone from Old Dominion and while she was at the conference she secured an interview for the facilities position.

Even though she came up short, she made an impression just like I did when I interviewed at Rutgers. April came and went. So did May. She graduated thinking “the world was about to end” because she didn’t have anything lined up. After some more tears in my office, I told to keep her head up, keep networking and something will come. Sure enough, a week after graduation, she interviewed and landed a job as the marketing GA at Old Dominion from a connection she made at the conference.

Talk about about timing and waiting for the right opportunity. This just didn’t turn out to be a graduate assistantship.

Let me really break down what came from this:

- Dana was able to help out on one of the outdoor adventure trips and travel to Peru.

- She was accepted to travel to China as part of a student affairs exchange program.

- From the exchange program she met the Old Dominion’s president’s wife and basically became besties with the family where she spent Easter with them.

- Lastly, her director was the upcoming NIRSA president which would open up a ton of doors.

Plus, she lived 10 minutes from Virginia Beach while earning a masters degree. Not a bad deal while building her personal brand even more above what she accomplished at Rutgers.

All of the hard work and emotions of “finding your niche” started to pay off. I knew Dana was going to become a great professional regardless of the field she entered, so I invited her to present with me a second time at the Region 1 Student Lead-on at Syracuse University. This time it wasn’t about group dynamics or leadership, it was about standing out, remaining patient, and to take advantage of every opportunity that is put in front of you.

Now with a masters degree in hand, several life experiences later and becoming a responsible, independent adult, Dana is the Membership & Marketing Director for the YMCA in Wayne Hills - the largest YMCA in the state.

What they taught me:

First of all, Dana taught me that hard work does pay off. Even though her story has a few bumps in the road, she kept pushing herself. I also learned that my advice, mentoring, and in reality, counseling, was helping. Not just Dana, but a several others. This is why I want to use my skills of connecting, finding one's passion, and helping them standout; and spread it as far as it can go.

How they inspired me:

This council I was charged to build was volunteer on my part and the students part. This has been one of the most rewarding initiatives of my career at Rutgers. Dana, Tara, and Carlos are now some of my best friends I see regularly. They saw my vision, believed in me, and wanted to make a difference. They all made a difference not only for the community, but to me as I try to grow out my next vision.

#Nichetip:

When an opportunity is put in front of you, take it, trust it, and give it all you have.

Day 8 - Office Crashers: When I Asked for Help, I Got Much More Than I Ever Anticipated

My junior year at FDU took my college experience from good to great because of the new involvement I had on campus and new outlook on myself. The momentum kept strong going into my senior year. I had just completed a three month marketing internship at Ciao Bella Gelato (If you ever come across this, try it), landed a fall internship at a PR company, and was looking for ways to avoid senioritis. Quickly, things like my commitment to the golf team, unnecessary classes, and weak-tied relationships moved to the bottom of my priorities.

I introduced you to my friend Russ Bloodgood in yesterday's Day 7 post because of his influence in my senior year. However, his experience on his Habitat for Humanity trip didn’t hit me until around November 2005. At the time, I was the outgoing president of the Marketing Club, held a decent PR internship, and was involved in FDU’s programming committee. I felt that there was still something else out there that I wanted to accomplish.

Enter Michelle (Luff) Brisson. Michelle started working at FDU in August of 2005 as the new Assistant Director of Student Life, and took over for Ray and Nat’s vacant positions. She attended Millersville University for her undergrad and had just graduated from University of Vermont with a masters in Students Affairs. She was the new kid on the block and all of us involved on campus we’re excited for her new energy.

Several of my friends, including Courtney, warmed right up to her and quickly established a student-mentor relationship. It wasn’t until that November, when I went into Michelle’s office and told her about Russ’ Habitat for Humanity experience that we connected. Michelle’s response was nothing short of amazing.

Just like a great Student Affairs professional should be, she was thrilled about the idea.

She matched my enthusiasm and vision to bring it to FDU.

She also said things like “How can I help?” and “What do we need to do to make this work?”

From that initial meeting on, I knew I had at least one person in my corner to make a Habitat for Humanity trip launch. Every Friday until winter break, I spent 8-hour days in Michelle office (Michelle, thanks for letting me crash your office) researching sites, filling out applications, developing guidelines, creating participant applications, designing a marketing plan, building a fundraising strategy, etc. Over winter break, this is all I could think about. We returned in January and Michelle and I started right back up.

We spent countless Fridays interviewing the 30 students who applied for the first trip. Michelle successfully got buy in from our Provost with a $1,000 donation from his budget towards the trip. Once we had our team in place, we met almost every Tuesday evening until our trip. Michelle even helped us find a full-time professional staff member to chaperone the trip - Marc Cocchiola (A tremendous help and addition to the trip). When it was all said and done, we had secured a volunteer spot in Opelika, AL (right outside Auburn, AL), raised upwards of $7,000 in 6 weeks to fund the trip, and won the approval of several administrators to send a group of 15 students to Alabama for spring break.

Michelle’s work wasn’t done. Even though she couldn’t attend the trip, due to a conference she was attending, she helped us execute a banquet to thank our sponsors and bring together the 15 students and their closest friends and family. When it was all said and done, just like my friend Russ, Michelle had impacted and changed the lives of 15 college students. She helped us finish a house in Alabama for a lady named Ms. Penny the week we were there. She even influenced this group enough that it carried on two more years even after I graduated and she had taken another job.

Needless to say, Michelle has been a true friend and mentor to Courtney and I. She is the reason we both went into student affairs and want to inspire young adults. As I was trying to break into student affairs, Michelle was there to help me find my first job. She was there as a reference when I applied to work at Rutgers.

Michelle, her hard-working husband Ben, and their adorable three year old daughter Penny are still there for us today. They helped us paint our house the first weekend we moved in. They were there for us the day we had to put down our first dog Abby. They even let us borrow Ol’ Red, their 1994 red Ford-150 when we need to move things my CRV can’t fit.

How They Inspired Me:

When a student presents a new idea to me, I remember the enthusiasm that Michelle had with me. I make sure to give that kind of enthusiasm to every student that comes into my office.

What They Taught Me:

Michelle taught me to have patience and embrace every single moment a student crashes your office whether it be for 5 minutes or 8 hours. When they do that it means they like being around and look up to you - cherish it because you’re making a difference.

#NicheTip:

Ask for help. Finding your niche and following your dreams will often present you with a heavy workload. Chances are there is someone out there that would not only help you, but they would be thrilled to do so. In return, you may just find an incredible mentor and friend.

For People Who Battle Procrastination: Use It Wisely

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else.

Tomorrow (noun) – a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

Going to start studying at 3:00 p.m…. 3:05 p.m.: Missed it…4:00 p.m. it is.

 Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow.

Procrastination. Ah, yes, we’ve all been there: seven hours before the 8:00 a.m. due date of a 12-15 page paper that was casually started yesterday….night…while watching New Girl. Basically, the only content on the page is:

Name

Professor

Course Title

Date

Title

In a handful of unique situations, procrastination may lead to successful completion of a task or project. Some research even says occasional procrastination isn’t all that bad. After all, procrastination is really just a matter of prioritizing and time management. However, whether it’s with chores, college assignments or work tasks, procrastination can be a significant hindrance in one’s reliability and performance. Habitual procrastinators are simply living through life’s experiences. Getting by. Surviving through it and hurriedly moving on to the next task.

Where’s the opportunity for creativity? Where’s the opportunity to evaluate?

Allotting the appropriate amount of time to accomplish a goal opens a gateway for creativity. More time to complete the basic criteria gives one the chance to take a second, maybe third, look at the finished product while considering alternative and creative ways to express the ultimate point. Going that extra mile can sometimes be the difference between a B+ and an A from a professor, or the difference between “Thanks” and “This is great work, thank you!” from a supervisor. For example, getting a head start on the job search will give you the time and patience you need to obtain a job that’s a right fit for you. Starting in advance means you have more time to network with potential connections, more time to search postings and company profiles and more time to explore the various opportunities and avenues available to you such as unconventional job search strategies.

Getting started on a project early also gives one the chance to edit and reconsider aspects of the work once the first draft or version is complete. Hurriedly sending an email to a job recruiter before the job application closes at midnight can lead to grammatical errors, incorrect information, and that embarrassing second email, “whoops, I forgot the attachment.” Now that’s an unfortunate first impression.

On the other hand, taking the time to sit down and craft an email that is clear, concise and correct can lead to tremendous opportunities. Starting ahead means that errors and contradicting points that would, perhaps, go unnoticed are realized and corrected before another set of eyes take a look.

Procrastination and the Job Search

A great example would be the infamous cover letter. If you’ve procrastinated submitting your credentials for a posting, chances are you’ll be submitting a classic, mundane cover letter complete with all the necessary points…the boring, inorganic necessary points. This will not wow a recruiter. In fact, the recruiter, who reads hundreds of cover letters, will immediately realize your disregard to crafting an authentic and unique cover letter specific to the company and, more importantly, the position. Taking the time to prepare a genuine cover letter shows care and interest.

An opportunity to review and evaluate the task in its final stages will show a professor or supervisor that the work was not done simply to check it off the list. It was a priority and that dedication should not go unnoticed. Evaluation provides details and avenues for improvement on future work, too, allowing one to grow and develop as a student or professional.

Procrastination can become a bad habit which can significantly affect the daily routine and attitude of a person. Once one task has been procrastinated, chances are many other important and sometimes time-sensitive priorities will follow suit. Habitual procrastination can become an unhealthy lifestyle and you won’t even realize what you’re missing. Procrastination means spending more money on vacations, taxes and other things. It means staying late at work to finish a project instead of going to happy hour with your buddies.

A popular phrase says, “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.” Oh but it does. One person’s procrastination could seriously impact the way another person’s job or team assignment functions and then it becomes this huge, sour snowball effect full of irritated coworkers, annoyed supervisors and potentially negative reviews of the final work.

I won't sit here and pretend that I don't procrastinate because that could not be further from the truth. It is an exhilarating feeling working under pressure, under a deadline. That's the journalist in me. I will say, though, that  the key with procrastination is to use it productively. Consider the reason for procrastinating a task:

1. I don’t feel like doing it.
2. I have other things to do.
3. It won’t be that difficult.
4. It isn’t really time sensitive.

Consider who your procrastination might affect:

1. My boss.

2. My family/friends.

3. My teammates.

Then, evaluate and determine whether it is beneficial to put off the task. If it actually can wait, while allowing the opportunity and time for at least an evaluation before submission, then by all means, go on a Netflix binge of New Girl. Otherwise, do something today, right now even, that your future self will thank you for.

Day 5 - The First Big Pivot: How a Conversation Changed the Trajectory of my Life

The summer between my sophomore and junior year in college I pushed my comfort zone to work as an orientation leader at FDU. I had no idea what I was getting into and the critical point that was about to shift my college career from good to great.

I remember when I was a first-year student and my orientation leader, Mark Bullock, said “The more you put into college, the more you’ll get out of it.”  During my first two years in college, I didn’t quite grasp what Mark meant by that statement. However, by putting myself out there and later becoming an orientation leader it slowly started to make sense. Immediately, I had 15 new friends that summer and we all lived in a string of suites in Park Ave (real-world style).

Our group was inseparable: we worked 8am-5pm together, played volleyball after work, went to concerts together, and sure enough behaved like college students that had a campus to themselves at night (swimming in the fountains and such).

Growing up as a shy kid, I finally felt like I was coming out of my shell, putting myself out there, and suddenly had several groups of friends where I could be myself.

Unconsciously, I was becoming a leader.

Waking up early, setting up tables in the student center without being asked - check.

Running corney ice breakers by myself - check. Ability to work with several different personalities - check.

Get on stage in front of hundreds of first year students twice a week - check!

However, halfway through the summer, there was a  moment that I started to realize I may have had a special skill set. Orientation was led by Sarah Azavedo (Director of Student Life) with Ray Flook and Nathalie Waite (both Assistant Directors). One morning, Sarah wanted to meet with me early before that day’s sessions. I, of course, thought I was headed to the boss’ office because I had done something wrong.

That was not the case - she told me there was a student attending today’s sessions that had a disability. She personally wanted me to be at her side for the next 48 hours to make her feel welcomed, help her get around campus, and connect her with other peers. Part of me was terrified and the other half was shouting “yes, I’ll do it!” in my head.

Well the adrenaline kicked in, I said yes and I met Anna at 8:30am that morning. Anna was an incoming first-year and only two year’s younger than me. Her energy and personality was exhilarating and contagious. She was so excited to be at college and meet new people - she couldn’t get enough of it. Later that day, I remember Courtney had a 30 minute break, joined Anna and I, and we gave her a private tour of campus. That is when we really got to know Anna.

It turns out, she was in a car accident when she was younger and she had relied on getting around in a wheelchair for most of her life and she had a slight speech impediment. I didn’t see that - I saw a young girl with a lot of ambition and excitement. I really feel like she came out of her shell because we treated her like a human being. It was one of the most rewarding days that summer, and Courtney and I still reminisce about this story.

What happened next was the real tipping point for me, and it had a major influence on why I got into student affairs.

The first week of September, Sarah, Ray, and Nat held one-on-one’s to provide feedback and get suggestions for next year from each orientation leader. I didn’t know what to expect and I definitely went into the meeting very timid. That changed quickly - I sat there and just a few minutes in, they said “Kevin, do you know you are a leader?” I was shocked at what they said and I answered the question “No, I never saw myself as a leader.” No one ever told me that before. When they said that, something clicked for me. Things haven’t been the same since that moment.

Nathalie demonstrated her belief in my potential yet again a few years later. This past semester, she hired me to present my slide design and presentation workshop to international graduate students at Steven’s Institute of Technology.

How they inspired me:

Ray, Nat and Sarah saw my potential. They saw something in me, but even better they shared what they saw. My outlook on life as I became more involved during my junior and senior year, turned into something completely different than my perspective as a timid new student on campus. The next few posts in my “How I Found My Niche” series will dive into how I became a leader.

What they taught me:

If you are an educator, leader or supervisor don’t let an opportunity to tell someone that they are a leader pass you by. My life would have been vastly different if they never told me about their perception of me in that one meeting. Even if they were thinking it, I would never have known unless they said something. Always take the moment to ‘say something.’

#Nichetip:

We are often our toughest critics, and will put ourselves in boxes. For instance, I put myself in the ‘shy kid’ box, I’ve seen students put themselves in the ‘not good at school’ box, and so on. Look outward for help on finding your niche. Ask others what they see in you. You may be surprised to hear what your supervisor, mentor, or friends think of you.

Day 2 - Pushing Your Comfort Zone

I remember it like it was yesterday. We were half way through our Spring semester - sophomore year and Courtney suggested I apply to become an orientation leader (she, of course, had already applied). At this time, we knew each other for a year and a half and only held the title of “boyfriend and girlfriend” for maybe 5 months.

My first reaction to her suggestion, “Oh, she just wants me to apply so we don’t have to be apart for the summer.” I still to this day believe that, but she had the inkling that a) I was qualified, b) it would change me for the better, and c) I would be a great role model for Fairleigh Dickinson’s incoming students. Well, I hate to admit it, but she was right.

Needless to say, Courtney, myself and 16 others (Ruben Henao, Dina Deleasa, Mike Sorbino, Michelle Rodriguez to name a few) went on to become FDU’s 2004 Orientation Leaders and boy, was it a summer that changed my life for the better. You’ll meet Ray, Nat, and Sarah later on in my #HowIFoundMyNiche series, but these group of individuals have had a huge impact on where I am today. Needless to say, applying and accepting to be an orientation leader is one of top 5 “leap of faith's” I have taken.

Anyway, back to Courtney. See, after 13 years (4 years of marriage) she still knows what's good for me even if I don’t see it. She knows how to motivate me, kick my ass when I need it, and pick me back up when I’m at the bottom. (Thank you for that.) Her work ethic has always amazed me and scared me at the same time. When she finds something she is passionate about, she goes all in and will do whatever it takes to get it done. And that’s what I love about being able to spend the rest of my life with her.

It’s like that Nascar drafting theory - the more ambitious either of us are, we always find a way to keep up, tailing right behind one another. When I see Courtney’s hard work pay off, I see the value of the hustle I’ve been putting in and know it will all be worth it sooner or later.

For those of you reading this that know Courtney, then you know the head she has on her shoulders. For those of you that don’t, then I suggest you connect with her ASAP. She has an uncanny ability to put others ahead of herself and go the extra mile.

I’m fortunate to have someone like her to bounce ideas off of and receive her help when I ask (and especially when I don’t ask).

How they inspired me:

If it’s not clear from the above, Courtney has made a huge impact on me. She provides light at the end of the tunnel, helps me solve a lot of problems in work and life, and always helps me see the optimistic side of things.

What they taught me:

Lately, Courtney has taught me I need to find the silver lining and be the most positive and proactive version of myself.

Overall, she has taught me not to give up on my dreams, big or small.

#Nichetip

What I’d like you to take away:

1. If someone you trust and that knows you well suggests you try something new or put yourself out there, listen to them and do it. Take that leap of faith. Push your comfort zone.

2. When you find that person you can be in the fox hole with day in and day out, don’t let them go and work hard as hell to keep them in your life.