Why I Keep Deciding Grad School Isn’t For Me

Over and over again I find myself returning to the idea of continuing my education with a graduate degree. Over and over again I find myself deciding not to.

My undergraduate degree is a Bachelor of Science in Psychology with a minor in Human Development. Building a career in either of these fields requires more schooling. Why would I choose them as my area of study without committing myself to seeing it through?

I chose psychology because, for me, it has always been psychology that drew my interest. I had the privilege of holding a human brain during my AP Psychology class my senior year of high school and that pretty much sealed the deal; nothing else really compared to that experience. Human behavior is one of the most fascinating things I've ever encountered and quite frankly, I couldn’t see myself studying anything else.

Throughout my undergraduate career, I toyed with adding another major or minor, and even got my feet wet a few times. I considered finding another less-committal, more-marketable major. I took a few different classes, but nothing else could hold my attention like a psychology course. My favorite psychology course I ever took was Psychology of Organizational Processes. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take it until my senior year, not that it mattered much anyway as it was the only Industrial/Organizational course offered at my institution. 

Upon graduation, I made the decision to take a six month break (which I highly recommend to everyone). After a hectic and less than enjoyable senior year, I desperately needed time to get back in touch with the part of me that wanted to learn for fun and that enjoyed the process rather than the part of me that sought to check the requirements off of my four-year plan. I needed to take time for myself to understand my values and to understand where I wanted to be career-wise five and ten years from now.

As you can imagine, this is where grad school comes into play. To make use of my psychology degree, whether as a school counselor or a social worker (my two preferred paths), I would need to attend grad school. I spent time over these next few months looking into programs both near and far, making phone calls, and gathering information. But in the end, instead of committing, I deferred.

I couldn’t see myself in sitting through more lectures or spending hours and hours in small groups discussing nuances of a particular subject. That kind of learning no long appeals to me. As it turns out, I’ve decided the world is my classroom.   

Following my six month break (which stretched until the end of 2012, mind you), I officially decided grad school wasn’t for me, at least not at this point in my life. So I started a business instead.

I founded an online magazine, GenTwenty in early 2013 and have been nurturing it ever since. When I first started out, I knew nothing. Not even the difference between WordPress.com and WordPress.org. There is still a lot I don’t know, but everyday is a new exciting learning experience where I can follow my specific passions, embrace my natural creativity, and do it all on my own terms at my own pace. And I'm lucky enough that other people believe in it too. 

Earlier this year, I applied to several MBA programs driven by the desire increase my business acumen. But as history tends to do, things repeated themselves. I read over curriculums, talked to MBA students, MBA grads, and seasoned business professionals. My instincts told me that while it won’t be an easy journey, the information and experiences I need and so desperately crave do not come with a tuition bill.

This isn't to say an MBA may not be the right path for you, simply, it's not the right path for me at this time. Instead, I have found the most helpful information and the most inspiration in podcasts, on blogs, and in interviews with entrepreneurs. Prologue Profiles is a recent favorite that I enjoy listening to.

I know I keep coming back to the idea of grad school because I have the desire to learn. School gives us structure and provides a safe place to do so with feedback mechanisms built in. The world is not so kind. The consequences of failing to adapt are much higher, there is no financial aid package to see you through, there is no four-year plan to guide you. You are on your own.

Whether or not you need a graduate degree is dependent on both your desired career path as well as what you plan to do. After all, there are plenty of successful entrepreneurs who have no degree at all. Just as entrepreneurship is not for everyone, grad school is also not for everyone, but that is up to you to decide.

I imagine that I will consider grad school again sometime in the next few seasons of my life. Luckily, my applications remain active for the next two years so I have some time to decide before I need to reapply (that's half the battle, anyway).

Know someone who is undecided about going back to graduate school? Share this article with them or your own thoughts about furthering your own education. 

The Lost Art of Connection: The Story of the Woman I Met on a Train

When I was younger I can remember my dad always telling us this story about a woman on a train. She was rude: snapping at people who tried to sit by her and making snide remarks under her breath. Everyone was appalled by her behavior. Later, the woman opened up and shared that she was on her way to see her mother, who was dying of a terminal illness. She was scared and hurting, and was taking it out on everyone around her. Moral of the story: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" Plato

That story comes sneaking back into my mind at the most opportune times. It reminds me to take a step back and practice loving kindness even when others don't seem to be doing the same. It reminds me of the importance of human interaction and connection.

Fast forward 20 years from when my dad first told me that story. I was waiting in the downtown Chicago Amtrak station for my train that was delayed. I was annoyed and I was exhausted from spending the last few days at a conference. I just wanted to get back home to my husband. An older woman sat down next to me on the hard, tile floor of the Amtrak station and starting talking my ear off about a fish fry that she was headed to the following day. I don' t like fish and I also don't like it when my travel plans don't go according to schedule. I could care less about the fish fry she was talking about endlessly.

I pretended to be super absorbed in the book I was reading and hoped she would take the hint. Nope. She kept talking. I then remembered the story that my dad told us when we were little, and how ignoring this woman was not going to change the fact that my train was delayed. I was letting something that was bothering me, effect how I was treating this stranger. I put down my book, smiled at her, and decided to engage in the conversation. After about 20 minutes of listening, I had learned a lot about this woman. Additionally, a pigeon had also made it's way into the train station so we were getting a good laugh watching it walk around and eating french fries off the ground - with no regard to that fact that it was indoors now. I was having fun and the time was going by much faster than if I would have continued to ignore her.

The following day when I was home and settled in for the weekend, I got a text message from the woman. We had exchanged contact information because she wanted to text me the name of the fish fry when she remembered it. A stranger, who had no reason to follow through with her promise to text me, did. And I must to admit, her text message made me smile.

I'll probably never see that woman again but for the two hours that we spent together on the cold floor of the Amtrak station, we were connected. How often do we pass by one another without stopping to engage? How often do we make assumptions about others without knowing what is really going on in their lives?

The next time I am tempted to shut someone out simply because I don't feel like making conversation, I'll think twice. That's what life is all about for me: connection. I don't want to miss any of it. And plus, now I have the name of a fish fry to go to in case I ever decide I'm in the mood for such an event.

3 Techniques to Help You Take Better Risks & Tackle New Situations

 

In a dusty corner of the Internet is a post from my angsty, teenage Tumblr that reads: “Life is SO full of possibilities. I think my greatest fear is regret.” Years later, this feeling still resonates. Regret might be one of the most unpleasant feelings life has to offer, so it’s worth noting that over the long-term, we’re much more likely to regret the things we didn’t do. Which leads us to my message: Don’t let your passions and interests become regrets. If there’s something you really want to try,go for it.

I know. This is a little easier said than done. Putting yourself out there and exposing yourself to failure can be daunting, so we’re here to help. When doubts and fears begin to crowd out your thoughts, you need ways to bring yourself back to reality and keep your eyes on the prize. The next time you’re facing a new situation or taking a big risk, try the following tips adopted from a great book called The Charisma Myth:

1. Destigmatize Discomfort

Risk makes us uncomfortable because we feel like we aren’t in control. One way to overcome this feeling is to remind yourself of how completely normal it is to feel discomfort in this situation. For example, think of someone you greatly admire, someone who has accomplished amazing things. Imagine them in a similar situation, feeling equally scared and uncomfortable. (They all really have felt like that, by the way.) Now, think of all the other people in the world who are probably feeling the same way at this exact moment. You aren’t crazy. You aren’t overreacting. You’re just human like everyone else, and you’re trying to wrap your head around a new situation.

2. Neutralize Negativity

In these situations, we’re often our own worst enemy. We see things from the worst possible angle, and before even giving ourselves a fair shot we convince ourselves that things are going poorly. Instead, realize that your thoughts and perceptions aren’t necessarily the objective truth. Try assigning a label to your feelings, like “self criticism” or “frustration.” Think about them through the lens of a scientist. Your negative thoughts may simply be your brain’s instinctive reaction to a high-stakes situation. Now, imagine that all of these thoughts in your mind are just noise from a radio. Slowly turn down the dial.

3. Re-write Reality

Let’s say something goes really wrong, whether it’s because you took a risk or because you didn’t. You’re here now, so what can you do about it? All it takes to turn a stressful situation into a positive one is a change in your perspective. You’ve probably heard something like this before, so how do you actually translate this into reality?

Let’s think through a real situation. Maybe you just received a negative performance review at work. Find a piece of paper and write down all the possible ways in which this situation could actually end up being good for you. Imagine how this might be the first step in a series of events that leads to a great ending. Maybe the performance review shines a light on a problem that you can now work through so you can become incredible at what you do. Or maybe you realize the way your company measures you simply doesn’t mesh with who you want to become.

By deciding to interpret bad situations as first steps in a story with a happy ending, not only will you see the light at the end of the tunnel but you’ll actually be equipped with the perspective to turn the situation around.

Now that you’re equipped to handle stressful situations, let us know how you cope with risk and doubt. If you try out these tips, share your experiences in the comments below!

"Live in the Grey is an online resource for individuals seeking a fulfilling career that blends personal passions with professional pursuits. Read more from Live in the Grey here."

See What Sticks: Invisible and Invincible

One of my favorite episodes of Matt Groening's Futurama features the arrogant robot Bender as the "God" figure to a colony of settlers. In a twist near the end of the episode, he gets to meet the show's approximation of God, who gives Bender some sage advice:

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

David Zweig's Invisibles:The Power of Anonymous Work in an Age of Relentless Self-Promotion carries the banner of "God"'s proclamation, sharing the triumphs and benefits of those who work under the radar. 'Invisibles' is his term for people who fly under the radar, who quietly make things happen, and who typically are only noticed if something goes wrong. Zweig talks to structural engineers, cinematographers, music technicians, and UN interpreters; he distills their defining characteristics down to three:

1. Invisibles are ambivalent to recognition. Their satisfaction is derived not from audible gratitude, but a deep intrinsic appreciation for their work.
2. Meticulousness. Invisibles immerse themselves so deeply in their work, others' observations mean little or are scarcely noticed.
3. Savoring of responsibility. The Invisibles featured in the book do very important work, the kind of work that makes significant impact on lives; they don't shy away from this burden. Their significance to the overall effort is reveled in and appreciated, but not for its own sake.

But the book does not strive to malign those for whom 'invisibility' is not a natural state. Rather, it discusses the benefits that such a mindset can afford those of us who work with Invisibles, while also providing advice for those who may aspire to incorporate some of these traits into our daily lives. Some of the best tips I gained from the book can also be vital for new professionals, those seeking employment, and anyone looking to strengthen their standing in a work environment.

Concentrate on the product, and let your work promote you. Zweig highlights the increase of personal pronouns (I, me), as well as the influx of professionals that exist solely to help people develop "personal brands" and social media imprints that reduce online interaction to constant image development and curation. While Zweig and other researchers see some elements of this as normal, they generally agree that we have reached an extreme as a society. Their alternative: concentrate on doing the work, and the work will promote you. The book cites the late David Foster Wallace as an example of an artist whose work essentially promoted itself; he became a critical success by doing little more than concentrating on the very thing that made him worth knowing- his writing.

Especially when we're young, or new to a field, we are quick to want to establish ourselves, and we can sometimes equate that with trumpeting our accomplishments. Zweig argues, we shouldn't have to shout our accomplishments so loudly. Truly significant accomplishments will announce themselves; further, invisibles will find fulfillment in their work whether that trumpet is sounded or not.

Identify your goal and who can help you achieve it. The cinematographer Robert Elswit is profiled in one chapter of the book, and we learn about his meticulous process of lighting scenes in award winning films. Elswit is unlike other invisibles profiled in the book in that he has received awards for his work, but that's far from his motivation for doing painstakingly detailed work. Although others may see his work as purely technical, he sees it as a way to make the story resonate with the viewer- the same motivation that drives actors and directors.

But despite his standing as an award-winning craftsman, he sees himself as part of a larger team. His commitment to working collaboratively to fulfill a vision is something that so many of us forget when we're overwhelmed, overworked, and frustrated that our hard work isn't being recognized. Seeing your work for what it is- a part of a multifaceted whole- can provide perspective and encourage you to look deeper than the accolades to appreciate what you truly love about the work itself.

Get comfortable executing someone else's vision first. This particularly tip is directed toward those starting out in a job or field. We are accustomed to seeing the inspirational quote "Start building your dreams, before someone else hires you to build theirs." However, we won't yet be truly ready to work meticulously, a key part of invisible work, unless we put the time, energy, and dedication in to getting good at a craft we could eventually pursue in a leadership role. In a later chapter, Zweig talks about the literal perils of cell tower climbers who were promoted to leadership positions without sufficient training or time in a hands-on role; one person he interviewed was gravely injured as a result of it.

Don't rush the magic of your career. There will be time in your work history to revel in the sunlight of recognition, or to truly be proud of the work you do. But that pride and reverence start with hard work and dedication to developing a high level of competence at a craft. The successful invisible has taken that time, and quietly but skillfully excels.

Make no mistake, Zweig does not advocate for working in thankless jobs. If you truly feel overworked and underappreciated, this is a problem that you can seek to rectify. His goal, instead, is to highlight a class of people who may not always seek out external praise or gratification. If you work with these people, your appreciation of their work is more than enough; and if you are this person, know that you can set a great example for coworkers old and new. Invisibles are an easy-to-overlook population in our offices, schools, and the like. Believe us, you'll notice if their work isn't perfect. But if it is done right...you won't be sure they've done anything at all.